The Heart's Hidden Truths
by LuigiWife1551
Summary: Gen survived the massive wounds Kaguro left him. Now, he wonders if he can survive the many emotions that surrounds his heart. Can he tell Yoshimori how he truly feels about not just love, but Yoshimori?
1. What Do You See In Me?

_******A**/_**_N_: My very first Kekkashi shonen-ai fanfic! Please be easy on me!**

**This is a AU alternate of Ep. 36-37. It's what might have happened after the first match with the overwhelming amount of Kokoburo, and with Yoshimori and Gen.**

**_Disclaimer_: Kekkashi is not mine, nor is Yoshi and Gen. I own storyline only.**

**Enjoy, and of course, R&R! Arigato!**

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**Chapter 1**

**What Do You See In Me?**

**(Gen's POV)**

"Gen, don't you dare die!"

I forced myself to look at him. I must've been a pitiful sight. I felt weak as hell, and I knew I was going to die soon.

Yet...that didn't stop him. That idiot...he was crying for...for me?

_"GEN!"_ His face was completely wet, and his hand trembled. I looked on. At the same time, though, my eyes were falling closed, and I truly wanted to just sleep.

"Yoshi...mori...why are you crying?" I asked, trying to sound stronger than what I felt. He wanted to say something, I could tell. But he was so...choked up...

The Yukimura girl was crying, too. I watched them both, confused. Why were they crying for me? They saw me as a transformed monster...they knew what I was...

And they still didn't care. They still...stayed by my side.

"Gen, stay with us, dammit! We still need you!" he was yelling. "Gen, please! You have to fight this!" the girl said.

I was still fixated on Yoshimori. He was still crying.

"Yoshi...there's nothing more...you can do. I...I'm going to die, so...so stop crying...idiot." I smiled at him. For some reason...I couldn't get mad at his behavior. And still, he...he refused to stop.

Then, I asked him again. I wanted to know. "Why are you crying for me?" "What the hell kind of a dumb question is _THAT?_ Gen, I...dammit, you're my_ friend!_ I...I'm crying because of _that!_" he cried out in angst. I kept staring at him. He wiped his tears away, and the girl- Tokine- went over to comfort him.

Wait. Was I hearing right? "I'm...your friend?" I asked, my head kind of trying to wrap around the whole idea.

"Yes, Gen. We love you, and can't watch you just get hurt. Monster or not, we don't care. We love you all the same. People love Gen for Gen." Tokine said, her face kind and gentle.

"Love..." I don't think I ever realized that I had so much of it like I did just then. Atora...she cared for me. Chief...he made sure to watch over me...and Ryo...she never gave up on me, even as a child...and Yoshimori...he cared about me that much that he cried over me now...

"Yoshimori...look at me." He looked over from Tokine's arms, and I reached out to him. I had to touch him. He needed to know.

"Yoshimori...Tokine...thank you both.." I whispered, caressing his face. It was still a bit damp. I had always wondered what he felt like. He was...soft. Almost like a child...

Yoshimori kept looking at me...no, more like _through_ me. Right into my very being. "Gen...you're gonna die...aren't you?" he asked in a small voice. I hated the hell out of it. It wasn't him anymore. But...he was mourning for me the only way he knew how...

I sighed, fully content with myself. "Yes."

"Then...I have to give you this." I wondered what he wanted to give me. Or rather, what else could he give me. I...I was starting to understand why Chief sent me here. He was right. Me and Yoshimori were...

My thoughts were cut short when he leaned over me, and the next thing I knew, his lips were pressed against mine.

I wasn't really sure how to make my body react. I had always been confused about my feelings about him. I thought he liked Tokine, so I buried my feelings about Yoshimori deep down in me, and soon, I forgot all about them.

Now, everything I held inside was leaking out of me, and I was trying to decide what to do. Then, I did.

I allowed him entrance into my mouth, and for that brief stint, he tasted and smelled like...like coffee milk. He was roaming inside my mouth, and at one point, I whimpered. He was very gentle...and I suddenly felt so vulnerable, so scared...I had never kissed anyone, let alone a boy...

Although...I thought about this kiss, and what would happen if I did live...could I still be with him? With Tokine, and the others that still love me?

Maybe living has its benefits...I wanted to live...all of a sudden, I wanted to live. Death could wait...I had to be with Yoshimori!

_'Karasumori...please...I can't die here...I have to live for those who still believe in me, and for those who love me...**I can't die!'**_

At that point, this strange feeling surged all around and inside my body. I had no idea why, but...it made me feel very warm.

Me and Yoshimori's lips were still locked. My body slowly began to heal, and when Yoshimori and I separated, I felt some energy return to me. Then, I felt Tokine's small hands touched my abdomen, and she was ecstatic.

"Yoshi! Gen's wounds...he's healing!"

I sighed. That's what it was...I was given another chance...Karasumori heard my cries...thank you.

"Gen...you bastard...you'd better not die..." Yoshi sniffed, smiling so very happily. I smiled back, but I was so weak, I was surprised that I could manage even that. He could see that, and I watched as he talked to Tokine about getting me to his home.

"Yoshi...thank you." I closed my eyes, and I could finally go to sleep.

Hours must have passed. When I opened my eyes again, everyone I possibly knew surrounded me on the bed I was laying on. I was in the spare room of Yoshi's house,and it was crowded. Atora, Ryo, Father, Masamori, Yoshi's younger brother, father and grandfather, Tokine's grandmother and another middle-aged female that I didn't really know too well was there, too. And was it ever noisy!

The grandfather and grandmother were bickering back and forth, Tokine rolling her eyes and talking to who I assumed to be her mother. Yoshi was sitting in the bed next to me, and I felt his body against my head. He was arguing with Madarao, who was ignoring every word he said. Atora and Masamori were in the corner near the room window, talking calmly and quietly. Ryo and Father were laughing and mingling with everyone else.

I was still kind of weak, and so I didn't talk. I snuggled some to Yoshi, who kept moving everywhere, but I didn't care.

My mind...I kept going back to that kiss, and I knew. I loved him, and he loved me just the same.

While everything was going on. I looked past Yoshimori at the open window near was opened to let in some air. It was also pretty dark out, but I could still see a few stars out. I looked outside for a while, until I grew tired again. I knew it would take some time for me to heal.

But not in my heart. I think...no, I _know_...I finally begun to heal there. I finally realized that these people were my family, and they wanted to help me understand something I never did...what it was they saw in me.

Karasumori gave me a chance to live again. I was thankful, and ready to start over.

"Yoshi...Tokine...everyone...thank you." I muttered softly before I passed out.

This life had something for even a half-ayakashi like me...maybe I need to open my eyes more to the truth.

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**A/N:**

**This will be a multichap, by the way.**

**So that's the end. I hope you liked it, and I will try to update soon.**

**Please R&R! Thanks for reading!**

**See ya! :)**


	2. What I Saw Was You

**A/N: Here's Chapter 2! I hope you like it!**

**Told in Yoshi's POV. Please enjoy, and review!**

**Disclaimer: Kekkashi isn't mine. The usual.**

**Arigato! :)**

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**Chapter 2**

**What I Saw Was You**

**(Yoshi's POV)**

I was keeping watch over Gen as his energy slowly began to return to him. I forced him to stay in bed, though. He still needed to rest before he got too happy and returned to fighting that bastard Kaguro. Not like he was the only one who wanted to fight him, though.

One morning, I walked inside his room to give him some breakfast my dad made. And I froze at the sight of him.

He was still asleep, and I could see his chest rising and falling against the dark-colored sheets he was under. His breathing was about the only sound filling my ears. His head was turned slightly, and his lips were gently parted.

Of course, my face began to tint red. Damn, why'd he have to be so freakin' sexy?

Then again...I was the one who went kinda...direct with him. But he had to know what he meant to me. I had to know, too. Maybe he was the same way, too. I decided to ask him.

I walked as quietly as I could so I could leave the food on the nightstand next to him. As I turned to leave, he spoke. "Yoshimori, where are you going?" Smooth and cocky, just as always.

I turned to face him, and I knew my face was still red. He noticed, too. "Why are you...is your face red?" he asked bluntly. I went even redder.

"S-Shut up! How long were you awake, anyway?" Gen yawned, then sat upright. "Long enough to know you were in here." I wanted to say something, but I lost my thoughts by then.

"So, what are doing in here, anyway?" " Obviously, my dad wanted me to leave you some food." I must have sounded like a total moron. At least my face cooled down.

Gen looked at me a few seconds longer, and he took the plate and began to eat. I shook off my feelings for now and sat on the edge of the bed. Within seconds, me and him were talking about the most random things ever to come to mind. Or at least, I was. Gen mostly kept to himself, saying little comments here and there.

"Hey, Gen? I wanna ask you something. And you gotta tell me the truth." I wanted to ask him what he thought about that kiss. Better yet, I wanted to know about his opinion on love in general. I may regret it, I may not. I can never know unless I try.

"What, Yoshimori?" I took a deep breath, and asked him as calmly as I could, "Gen, what's you thought on love?"

The room went dead silent. I watched Gen's face harden as he held on to the edge of the sheet. He looked confused, and I peered at him. Maybe I was too blunt? "Gen?"

"Yoshimori...I can't...I can't explain it..." he spoke, his voice sincerely lost. I knew better. He could talk about this...all he needed was a small push.

"Gen, please try. I wanna know."

He began to speak again, slowly, as if each word he said wasn't meant to be spoken. Naturally, he never made eye contact with me. I didn't mind; at least he was talking.

"I.. I don't know. I mean..." I placed a calming hand on Gen's shoulder. "It's alright. It's just the two of us."

I knew Gen hated to be touched, so it surprised me when he didn't shake it off. He sighed. " I think I've always liked you, Yoshi." His bluntness alone made me a quick believer. "You think?" I asked questionably.

Gen was so uncomfortable, but I was going to be really harsh with him. I wanted to learn more than what I saw on the outside. "Yeah. I was a bit lost when I first met you."

My eyebrows arched."Why?" Gen shrugged. "I think...it was because you were the first person to try and get so...close to me. Very determined, might I add. Not even Masamori knew how I really felt and what I really thought. You wanted to know me, though. I wanted to keep people away. They didn't need to be hurt, and neither did I." He stopped for a moment.

"Gen, I did want to know. Why you were always so...reserved like you were." He turned to look at me for once, his expression one of_ 'yeah, I knew you did_'.

"I know. Sometimes I wondered that myself. After I grew to know you and Tokine, I figured that there was still people in the world who...who can _love_ something like me." "Gen, you're not a some_thing_. You're a some_one_." He rolled his eyes, and turned to me. And the odd thing was-he smiled. A gentle smile, something I rarely saw, if at all.

"Still as naive as ever, Yoshimori." I pouted. "But you know something? I was...actually glad to have someone always on my case about something. But the day you guys saw me transform..." I stopped him this time.

"Gen, I'll be honest. I was scared stiff." He chuckled softly. "That's nothing new to me." "I mean it. I was afraid that we would have lost you somewhere in there. I knew you could fight it back, but...I was just..." Suddenly, I couldn't get the damn thought out. Gen looked at me. "Scared. You can say it." I nodded, a bit ashamed at myself.

"Yoshi...what scares you?" An actual question for once! Maybe this little chat was working after all.

I shook my head. "A lot of stuff. But, the one thing that scares me...is not being able to protect those I love. Watching them suffer and die. It scares the hell out of me because I feel helpless. And that frustrates me so much!" There was a moment before Gen spoke again.

"Yoshimori...there shouldn't be a reason for you to fear that. We all fight for ones we love. And at the end of the day, we have to accept what's been given to us."

At that point, I wondered if Gen ever heard what he said sometimes. He gave so much useful advice...but of course, he never really used it.

"Gen, that applies to you, too." He didn't seem to believe me; I saw it in his eyes.

"I don't think fear ever played a part in my life after Masamori took me in. Maybe it was just...set in stone for me. Who knows."

Now for the ultimate test. "Gen...have you ever felt loved?" I asked again, dreading his answer.

He gave me a shy glance, then he said what I hadn't really seen coming.

"As a child... I learned love from my older sister, Ryo. She...she had to protect me from myself, especially since I had the habit to retract my claws to...to, well pretty much everyone. I was...an angry child, I guess, and I'm pretty sure that was my way of..of calling out for help. I didn't know why this happened to me, and I was so confused...I just...I stopped believing that people cared. That's why it took me so long to trust you, Tokine, even Masamori. I had already barricaded my heart from others. I didn't want to be hurt anymore."

I sat there, taking all that in. 'Gen...he was so hurt all this time...'

"So what about Masamori?" Gen looked at me, stumped by my question. "What about him?"

"Did you trust him right away?" Gen shook his head.

"He placed the tattoo you see on me now. It hinders my transformation. The more I tried to transform, the more it hurt. " I think my expression gave away what I was about to yell at Gen next.

"If that's true, why the hell did you transform when we fought horse-freak?" What do you think he says? "Because I had to fight him on more...equal terms."

"Gen, you could've died!" I know that things could've been worse for all of us, but he didn't have to do that! I was really afraid that we would have lost him, and he knew it.

He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then he looked out the window. I followed his gaze. "I know, Yoshimori."

I rested my head on his shoulder. We sat there watching the morning roll by for a while.

"Yoshimori, let me ask you something." "Hmm?"

"Why was it that you were scared after what Kaguro did to me?" I laughed softly to myself.

"Gen, you know why." "I know. But I don't understand you, Yoshimori. One minute it's this tough guy act, then the next...you're crying your eyes out."

I had the oddest feeling he'd get to that point sooner or later. And I also knew that he was the exact same way. We were more like two sides of the same coin.

"Gen, remember. We humans are a bit more fragile than you half-ayakashi." "True."

Another strangely familar bout of silence followed. The entire time I had this one thought buzzing around in my head.

"Gen...how did you do it?" "Do what?" I chuckled lightly.

"Still have the will to go on? After everything you've been through, I'm surprised you didn't kill yourself."

Gen chuckled, almost as if he knew I was going to mention that. "Well, that's one way to look at it." The, he focused on his hands. "I...I don't really know. I mean, I was just...I was glad that for once, I was able to protect rather than destroy. I think if anything, I could have accepted my death more easily knowing that." I shuddered. "Can we get off the death topic? It's really making me depressed." "Like _you_ are ever depressed." I rolled my eyes and looked back outside.

"Gen, did you ever go out much? You know, besides being in the Night Troops?" "No. All I really did was train."

'Well, that explains why he never went out much on the weekends.' I thought, not really surprised, but rather amazed. What kind of life did he live to be doing this, I didn't really want to know.

I laid my hand on top of Gen's, and I made a mental note of something.

I was so different from him. His hands were a bit bigger than mine, and darker, too. And for some reason...they felt so warm and soft. I felt my face heating up again-slightly this time.

It hadn't really hit me until then that the room was quiet, and it was getting much cooler outside. The atmosphere was comfortable, and I wished for just a minute that this would last us forever.

"Yoshimori? Can I ask you something?" I nodded.

"Do you really feel this...this safe and comfortable around me?" he asked in a low voice.

I looked at him, stumped by the question. I mean, I understood it, but I wondered why would he ask such a thing. He knew how I felt about him.

"Yeah. I'd trust you with my life if I had to."

"But _why?_ I really don't get what you see in me."

I pulled my legs up to my chest, and stared off into space before I answered.

"Gen...what is it that I need to see?"

He shrugged. I learned another thing about Gen- he didn't know passionate love when it was looking at him in the face. I loved him even more just because of that.

"I don't know. " He was growing frustrated. "Yoshimori, for pete's sake, I _am_ half-ayakashi, or have you forgotten that?"

I became surprised by his voice level, and I perked up. "Gen, I _haven't_ forgotten. But what does that have to do with us?" After this conversation we just had, I would have thought he got the message.

He managed to get up out of bed, and _that_ shocked me. His panting was telling me that he was overdoing it. I was about to try and convince him to sit, but he was raving by now, so I didn't bother him.

"Yoshimori, look at me. The one time you saw me transform, you were lucky Kaguro did what he did to me. Any other time, I could have _**killed**_ you! And you say you trust me with your life? I might actually take it from you! Then what?" he screamed.

"So what, Gen? So what?" I got off the bed, and grinned; I couldn't believe he was worried about that.

Gen ran out of energy and collapsed back onto the bed. I helped him, extremely calm the entire time. He was trying to shake me off this time, but I wasn't about to let him fall. He knew he was wrong. And he knew why.

"Yoshimori...I can't just...get rid of this. I'm a monster, and that's always going to be the truth." he trailed off. He was tired.

"Then don't, Gen. You still have a heart. You're a kind person, even if you don't let others see it. You're determined, and at times, you prefer to be on your own. You're still confused, and you're still a child."

I stood up and looked outside again, the sky now a light afternoon shade of blue. "Gen, to me...you're perfectly fine. I wish you'd see it the way I do. You'd be really surprised at yourself."

I still wanted to stay with Gen, until he had fallen back asleep, at the least. I could see that with the extra energy he just spent, that wouldn't be long now.

So I sat down, and Gen asked me the same thing. What did I see in him.

"Gen, maybe I am an idiot. But...I love you. That's something that I can't help, and that will never change. Remember that, okay?"

"Yoshimori..." I moved away from him, and smirked

"Oh, and if you really want to know...I see too many lovable traits for me to ignore you-no matter how much you want to kill me." I said playfully. Gen blinked, and his cheeks heated. "Stop looking at me like that..." he muttered.

"Awwww! GenGen's red!" I taunted, poking his cheek. " Don't call me _THAT!_" he said loudly. I laughed hard as crap. He turned away hurriedly, and I chuckled.

Gen may have been awkward with many things. But he needed to understand that there was nothing wrong with him, half-ayakashi or not. He was still a person, and I was going to trust him with everything I had.

Of course, the most random thought came to my head at that point. Well, sort of random.

"Hey, Gen. Do you want to go somewhere next week?"

I knew Gen was giving me the _'what the hell?'_ look, but I didn't care. He needed a life outside of training and the Night Troops.

"Where?" I shrugged. "I don't know, somewhere. I know this- you are not going to spend the rest of your life training." Gen cleaned his ear, trying to ignore me. "Whatever, Gen."

I felt like shoving him off the bed, and I did. He didn't fall off, but he did give me one hell of a shove. "Dammit, Gen!" He smirked triumphantly. Stupid bastard!

'Damn, he heals fast. All the better for him.' We sat there glaring at each other for another few minutes or so, then I stood up. I felt like taking a nap.

"So, are we heading out next week?" Gen yawned. "Yeah, yeah. Just let me sleep." I was about to say something to that, but decided against it. For now.

"Fine."

Looking at the clock seated on Gen's dresser, I realized it was about time for school to let out. Were we really talking for that long? "Ah well, time to catch some shut-eye." I stretched, yawned and then yawned again. I began to walk out of the room,scratching my head. Just as I got to the door, he called out.

"Yoshimori." I turned around, and Gen, despite all the sleep he had over the past few days, was giving me this adorable, sleepy smile.

And then, the four little words I never thought I would ever hear him say escaped his mouth.

"I love you, bastard."

My eyes widened. And I stood there in something of a shock for a moment. Gen...did he just say he loved me?

Maybe it sounded weird to him. But you know what? I knew he understood what he just said, because I did. I believed him.

I had to smile."Me, too. Now get some sleep, idiot." I watched as his eyes closed, and within seconds, a steady breathing filled the silent room once more.

"I love you too, you utter knucklehead. Get better already." Once I was sure he was asleep, I walked down the hallway, listening to the quietness of the house. No one except for me and Gen were home, so I was happy since I could actually sleep without Gramps driving me nuts about something.

I decided to call Tokine and tell her about what we had talked about. She would've been back from school a few minutes ago. ' I must have a lot of work to make up now. Dammit! Teacher's never gonna let me live this one down!" I shook that out of my head. Besides, I was usually asleep in class, anyway.

I picked up the phone and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring. "Hello?" "Tokine. It's Yoshimori."

"Hey. What's up? How's Gen?" "He's good. Just fell asleep." Really? It's not even four yet!" She sounded surprised, but for good reason. Tokine didn't need to worry about messing up her attendance and grades. I was _way_ past fail in those departments. I thought about telling her of our really long conversation.

"I know. But...he's growing stronger. He needs to rest." I heard a movement as she walked around her home doing stuff. "Yeah. You're right." "And besides, we're so itchin' to fight Kaguro again!" Tokine laughed. "Well, let's hope that we don't get a swarm as big as that one." I hissed my teeth in annoyance." Eh, whatever." Tokine laughed again." So, where's everyone? Your house seems pretty quiet." I sighed happily. "Gramps is out on that Senior Golfing thingy. Toshimori is over at his friend's house, and Dad's out for the day. It's just me and Gen. And thank goodness. I was just about to catch me some shut-eye."

"Of course. " "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" A giggle told me the answer. Then, her voice changed. This time, it was more serious.

"Yoshi, I talked to Grandma. I have no idea how she contacted me; she said she couldn't tell me, for fear that she might be discovered while she travels to find a way to reach the Kokoburo." I nodded, remembering how Grampa was going insane when he found out. "Is she alright?"

Tokine sighed hopefully. "I believe so. She was telling me that the Kokuburo won't be returning for awhile. That 'Princess' that the horse freak spoke about is apparently extremely ill, so all the attention is on her." I thought about that.

If that was the case, then me and Gen would have plenty of time to train before the next wave would appear. Tokine knew I was thinking that exact same thing, and said, "You are so darn stubborn, you know that?" "Tokine, you know us too well." She sighed. There was no way she was going to win this battle.

We were silent for a while. Then, Tokine asked the question I knew I had coming.

"Yoshimori, how do you feel about Gen?" "You mean, do I love him?" I felt a little weird, but nonetheless, I felt confident in myself, and in Gen.

I took a deep breath. Suddenly, it had become pretty easy to answer that question. "Yes. I love him. And I want him to know that he can trust us. He's holding too much inside him, but I think I can get him to...you know, finally see himself in a whole different light." Tokine snickered. "Yoshimori, I didn't know you were poetic." she said mockingly. I blushed, and I had the feeling that she knew that, too. "Shut up, Tokine!"

"Fine. But Yoshi, can I offer you some advice?"

Since I was young, Tokine has always been the older sister that I never had. I could relay on her to give advice that I followed often...sometimes.

"Be careful when talking to Gen, okay?" she was saying, breaking my thoughts. "What?"

Judging from her exasperated sigh, I could tell I irritated her greatly. I smiled evilly to myself. "Listen, you dummy! I'm saying to be careful when you're talking to Gen. He was hurt enough as a child, so try to be...you know, considerate of your choice of words. And don't force him to talk about things he doesn't want to talk about." I nodded.

"Okay, fine." Another minute passed, and then Tokine said she had to go.

I wanted to tell Tokine about our little chat, but since Gen trusted me, I thought it would be best if he told her when he felt ready. "Alright. See you tomorrow?" "Yeah. See ya." I hung up the phone, and let out a massive yawn. I wondered what Tokine thought I was hiding. Then, I grinned to myself. She was always good at finding my secrets out. Although it shouldn't be that hard to deduce.

I headed for my bedroom, changed into some comfortable sweat clothes, got into bed, and created my usual kekkai around me.

As I laid there trying to go to sleep, I thought about our conversation. Then, him. And every time I thought about him, I felt my chest almost... compress. It hurt. He was only just beginning to tell me what he was holding in for the longest time ever. He was so sensitive.

Maybe I can get him to see that there is goodness in him and in the world. I didn't...I didn't want him to hide himself anymore, to be hurt. I wanted...to see him smile. He deserves happiness!

"Gen...I hope you'll break free soon." I said to myself. Then I yawned, and, giving in at last, fell asleep.

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**And this is the end of Chapter Two.**

**For once, I managed to make it longer without sounding completely insane! Yes!**

**As always, please R&R, and I'll try to post up the next chapter soon. Arigato, and see you soon!**

**:)**


	3. I Don't Know What To Believe

**A/N:**

**Gen's story!**

**His chapters will be generally shorter than Yoshimori's. Also, Gen will often switch betweeen Masamori and Chief when talking to Masamori.**

**Sorry for keeping you waiting! R&R! Arigato!**

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**Chapter 3**

** I Don't Know What To Believe**

(Gen)

A week came and went. I felt more than 100%, and I had already returned to training. Everyday I made sure to push myself to the limits, bringing me back up to my former ability. Irritating,yes, but I was too weak to not train.

Besides, I want to kill Kaguro. He deserved to die. Yoshimori and Tokine, everyone...they've suffered enough.

Yoshimori never really left my mind, either. We talked a lot more often, and I was beginning to allow him to see more layers of me. That didn't mean that I trusted him enough to say everything I wanted to, however. _That_ was going to be a long way off.

After school one Thursday, I was walking to the corner store to pick up some groceries. Now that I was back in my apartment again, I needed to get something to put in the refrigerator. Masamori was nagging the heck out of me about that.

I stopped by the small supermarket, purchased a few things and set out for home.

There was a certain block I walked down everyday to get to the complex where I lived. About a block or so close to home, I would sometimes see a dog that I had begun to befriend. He was often sticking his head out the gate to see me, and I fed him every time.

Today was one such day. He was sitting there, wagging his tail. I wasn't sure, but I think his name was Kohaku or something close to it. He was a brown dog, with a black spot around around his right eye. It was very loyal, sitting outside waiting for me to stop by.

I would always smile every time I saw him. The fact that he waited for me, sometimes in the rain, it just...it really intrigued me.

Naturally, because he was known to run out, the gate was locked, but he was unchained. The minute I neared the gate, he barked happily.

I smirked. He sniffed the air, and I think he knew that I had a snack for him. I laughed softly, taking out the treat I bought him.

_'This is where that bastard Kaguro tried to get me to join those Kokoburo...'_ I thought, watching this innocent animal eating. He was there, too. And...Yoshimori.

I still remember that. He wanted to help me...to get me to understand...and I nearly clawed his face off. Some friend I am.

Kohaku barked happily again, snapping me out of my thoughts. I laughed a little, and petted him again. He yawned, and I stood up and stretched. Then I picked up my stuff, and began to head for home.

Upon reaching my place, I fumbled for the keys, and entered my apartment. It still felt so...dark and empty. The way I have always left it.

I shook my head, and closed the door behind me. Then, I began to put away my groceries.

After a few minutes, and with Yoshimori gone somewhere, I took out my futon, and collapsed on it. I had my cell phone in my hand, and I checked my messages, half-awake.

"Don't think Chief called today. Wonder what's he up to?"

I closed it, and laid my head down.

Ten minutes passed, and I couldn't sleep. Thoughts were running around in my head.

I knew that since I haven't been reporting to Masamori for the past few days, he'd come down personally to see what was going on. Damn.

I really felt guilty for having to drag him all the way down here for nothing, but...

"Ugh. Why is everything so complex around here?" I asked aloud.

I rolled over on my back. Then, for a while, I heard nothing but the sound of my breathing and my heartbeat. I slowly drifted off, and I know I would've been asleep, until I felt something standing over me.

I opened one eye. And in an instant, I knew exactly who it was.

"Hello, Gen. How have you been?"

"Hello, Chief." I responded back, rising up.

Masamori Sumimura stood in front of me, calm and collected as usual, holding a cup of water. He looked interested to see me, and I kind of figured out why.

"Sorry I...forgot to report, sir." I apologized rather pathetically. He chuckled knowingly, and acknowledged me to sit back down. Then he sat down.

"That was actually the reason why I came down here."

"It..it was?"

Masamori nodded, took a sip of the water he was holding, set the water down, and looked right at me. I instantly knew what was next, and I hated that.

"So, Gen. How are holding up?"

"Fine."

Masamori chuckled, and finished off the cup of water. I think he noticed my body tensing up, and he looked almost...sympathetic.

"What, can't I come visit?"

For a reason I didn't piece together at the time, I was really getting irritated with Masamori. His voice in particular. I don't know, I just...it made me feel weird inside.

"Well, yes but...you never do, unless it's an emergency."

Masamori nodded, and I stood up.

While I was making me something to eat, Masamori asked, "So, you have something you want to tell me?"

I stopped. Did I want to tell him...about me and Yoshimori?

"If you mean about the report, I-"

Damn, I forgot how fast he could move, too! In an instant, he was standing behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin!

"No. I mean...why are you acting like that? You were off guard, Gen Shisho." he whispered.

My face...it was hot. That's all I thought about. It was hot...just like when Yoshimori...kissed me...

"Gen, what is going on?"

I ducked under him, and walked toward the window. I needed some time to get this all straight.

I felt Masamori's stare piercing my back. I wasn't turning to face him, though. Yet.

There was this tension all about the place. I kept looking outside, looking at the sky, watching the clouds moving about. I wanted so bad for him to say something.

When he didn't, I decided to go ahead and tell him.

"Masamori."

He came over, not right near me, thank heavens. I think I needed some physical space, too.

"Yes Gen?"

I had nothing to lose at this point. Taking a deep breath, I face Masamori, looked him right in the eye and said,

"Chief, I am in love with Yoshimori Sumimura."

I knew better than to jump for joy-yet.

The tension that was in that cramped space was nerve-wracking. I needed him to tell me something, _anything._

At long last, he spoke. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting, however.

"In love with my brother, huh?"

I looked at him, not saying anything-yet.

"Yes."

He walked over to me, and sat down in front of me. I tensed up. Something inside me told me he was freaked out by my revelation. If he was, I knew one thing-he did a damn good job of hiding it.

"Gen, why do you love Yoshimori?"

I let out a sigh. And so the questioning begins. Again.

"I can't really explain it. We're freakishly alike, and I think that's what started it."

"How?"

"We each have something we want to do. He wants to seal off Karasumori so no one else will have to lose their lives protecting it. As for me...I just want to control what's dormant inside of me. I don't... want anyone else to... to get hurt."

"I see."

Another pause.

"Gen, if you love Yoshimori, then I won't stop you. But tell me, when did you decide you loved him?"

At least I felt comfortable answering that. Why, I had absolutely no idea.

"The moment he first kissed me."

And of course, he had to add more to the moment.

"Tell me about it."

"About the fight? You were there when I got hurt" I said, wondering why he would say that.

Boy, I was off. "No, Gen. You know what I mean."

Now to talk about my near-death experience is a bit odd to me, especial since it happened not too long ago.

But...the kiss? Was that even allowed? I was feeling uncomfortable again. But knowing the Chief, he had no intention of letting me avoid it.

"Do I have to?"

The look in his face told me the answer. Damn!

" Ugh. _Fine_. After the incident with that piece of trash bastard Kaguro, I was...dying. And Yoshimori...he kept crying, kept calling me. I really wanted to sleep."

"Why?"

_"I don't know!"_ I said, exasperated. Where there hell was this getting at? I just wanted this Q&A to be over already!

"Gen, calm down a little. Take some deep breaths, and tell me the rest."

I think I have a chief and a psychologist all in one now.

"Now, I'll ask again. Why did you want to sleep?"

I looked away. He knew the answer to that. I didn't want to say it. In fact, I wanted it to be far away from me, to be a forgotten fragment of my past. But it would never happen.

"Because... I don't...I don't want to hurt him again...I can't do this." I whispered, feeling like a child.

Chief nodded. He knew I hated talking about this, so why make me do it now?

"Gen, how did it feel like?"

At first, yet again, I hadn't caught on.

"How did what feel like?"

He looked at me. I looked back. And this went on for a few minutes or so until it dawned on me what he wanted to know.

My face was red as a tomato.

"I..I don't know..."

Of course, Masamori had a backup plan in mind. He leaned in so close to me, I smelled his breath. It made my heart race.

"What did it feel like, Gen?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

"I..." Now I really couldn't say anything.

"Chief., you know I hate it." I finally got out in a forceful voice.

He leaned back, apparently satisfied. "Go on."

I took my time, but my heart... I have never felt my heart beat like that before.

I looked up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words to say. I didn't think there was any.

"I don't know. He was...he was soft. I watched him, and I wanted to know why he was doing that. After a moment or so, he said he calmed down, and I thought that would be the end of it."

Masamori tilted his head, and crossed his arms. "So what happened?"

I smiled. " The idiot...he wouldn't have left good alone. He said he had something to give me, and I was close to sleeping. And that's when he..."

"...kissed you." he finished. I nodded.

Boy, was that a relief off my chest. Masamori nodded, as if he understood, even thought he often claimed he never had time to fall in love with anyone.

Personally, I was thankful he didn't. This wouldn't have been as easy as it was now.

"Gen, what if Yoshimori were to kiss you again, right now?"

I shook my head, keeping my gaze on the ceiling.

"I don't...know what I would do. It was unexpected the first time."

Peace settled over us. Then I asked,"Is that all?"

I knew that wasn't all, and I knew he knew, too. I just wanted to be done!

"Gen. You didn't tell me everything. What else is there?"

_'Why, Masamori!'_

"Are you confused about this?" he asked softly.

"Yes." I said quietly. He cocked his head, and I swear he looked almost...amused.

"Why?"

I sighed. Here we go again.

"I don't...I don't think I can love another without hurting them. I want to, Masamori. I don't...I don't know how." I whispered.

"Gen, do you think you're a monster?"

I nodded; he knew how I felt about my half-ayakashi self.

"But...I know that I love your brother. I just...I don't want to hurt him."

"Gen, let me ask you something else. If Yoshi wanted to get this close to you, do you think he fears you, despite you being a half-ayakashi, and seeing you fully transform?"

I never thought about that. Yoshimori...he never did fear me.

"He's an idiot for trying to get close to me." I hissed angrily. I had no clue why I was so angry.

Masamori chuckled. Then, something he said caught my attention.

"Gen, do you remember your teammate, Sen?"

What did he have to do with this?

"Yes, I remember him."

"Well, I had a conversation with him recently. He wanted to know why I hadn't been around for so long back at headquarters. I explained to him what happened to you and the attack we had. And do you know what he said to me?"

I could only imagine; I knew Sen never liked me for being a loner.

"What?"

"He asked if you had died from that Kokoburo's attack."

'_Surprise.'_ I thought nonchalantly.

"When I said you didn't...he said that you had better not. He still had something to prove to you. I explained the incident with Karasumori, and he said that maybe you do have a guardian angel watching over you."

I wasn't following any of this.

"Chief, what's the point?"

"Sen hated you, I know. But he asked about you everyday after that massive strike. He cares about you, Gen."

It literally hit me at that point.

Yoshimori hated when I wanted to be on my own. And in his own funny way...so did Sen. But if Sen cared enough to ask about me, and Yoshi to take of me...then I was very grateful to have them around. People who loved me...just like Tokine said.

"Am I making sense, Gen?"

My mind seemed to answering on its own, because I felt so far away. It was so clear, I felt stupid for not seeing it sooner.

"I know you're still confused. But don't worry; in due time, I think you will understand love in your own sense."

I highly doubted that.

"But, Chief...I'm still afraid."

"Of what?"

"I know that one day soon, I'll hurt him. I'll hurt someone, and then what? I'm a beast, and I know I can't stop what happens to my body!" I blurted out.

Masamori was kind of surprised for a minute. Then, his face relaxed, and he took my hand in his. I felt like a child, so weak and small.

And then, something else began to happen to me. My face...it felt wet. I didn't know what it was; my brain didn't register it at first.

But Masamori did. He kept me sort of pinned there, me yelling my thoughts on this love thing.

"There's no way that Yoshimori can expect to stay in love with me! I'm...I'm still an ayakashi! He knows that, and he still wants to take the risk of me killing him! Then what? I'm _weak_, Chief! I can't control the beast inside of me, and I know I'll lose that battle!"

My eyes began to cloud over, and I lowered my voice.

"I'll never forgive myself, Chief...and I don't want anyone else to die because of me..."

I finally broke down, and everything was swimming in front of me. I...was actually crying...

"Gen, you are not weak. If anything, you're the most determined person alive. And besides..."

He forced me to look right into his eyes.

"What kind of monster protects people he knows deep down, he loves deeply?" My eyes widened.

_'Yoshimori...he said something so close to that...but...'_

"Chief...you know I can't love people without hurting them. You know that."

I hated when he tried to sugar-coat the truth. I'm not stupid. I knew the risk more than anything.

Masamori pulled me into his embrace, another strange move to me. I never knew he was capable of such...feeling. Especially with the way Yoshimori talked about him.

It wasn't even that which caught me off guard. It was the way he felt that really stunned me.

He was strong and warm and...just there. I think he was just as surprised at my actions as I was. And was it any wonder?

It was a side of me I haven't shown since I was nine. But here I was now, shaking and crying like a baby.

"Gen...I think you have to learn to let it go. Yoshi's willing to give you a chance. Take it."

It had gotten darker outside, and I slowly felt Masamori moving around. If he was going to put me down, I welcomed it. Right now, all the energy I had in my body was gone, and Masamori could see it.

I heard bits and pieces of what he was telling me, but it all seemed too far, like an echo. I know he told me that I didn't have to go with Yoshimori and Tokine tonight. He also said something about calling him, but it was even father away than before. I figured I must be finally going to sleep.

The next thing I knew, darkness fell over me.

Honesty, the most beautiful time...is when I can't see or feel anything. It makes these kinds of things easier to handle.


	4. Is This The Beginning?

**This is Yoshimori's POV, but this is going to be shorter than the last chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Kekkashi(blahblah)there.**

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**Chapter 4**

**Is This The Beginning?**

**(Yoshi's POV)**

I hadn't seen Gen in a few days. He was in school, but every time I tried to talk to him in the hall, he just...he seemed to run the other way.

Humph. Back to his old self that fast.

But then, something stuck me as odd. It was what Gen did after school.

He just seemed to distance himself away. I wondered if everything was okay, if he truly _was_ returning back to his old self.

I mean, I was worried about him! Especially after what I did...

So I figured I may as well talk to him about it.

One afternoon, it was raining. I hate rain because it makes me feel all moody and depressed. I also forgot my umbrella, so I was walking home drenched and irritated. Not only that, but Tokine was giving me grief!

"Yoshimori, don't you even listen to the news? It said it was going to be chilly and raining? And if you get sick, what about Karasumori?" she persisted.

I gave her a sideways look. I love Tokine dearly, but sometimes, I wished she would hear herself talk. Then she'd have an idea of what I had to go through with her.

And besides, I was still thinking about Gen, so everything she was telling me was sorta going in one ear and out the other.

I noticed he left particularly early today, and I hoped he was okay. I know he hates the rain just as much as me. But he looked deep in thought, like he had other things to worry about.

When Tokine walked down the block to her home, I stopped, waited until she rounded the corner, and ran the other way, I saw Gen going to the playground.

When I reached the entrance, just as I figured, there was Gen. He was sitting alone on the park bench, his cell in his hand.

And if I didn't know any better, I'd think he looked...confused.

I approached him, and Gen looked up at me with his usual attitude

Well, damn.

"Gen-"

Before I even got out the rest of the sentence, he abruptly stood up.

"Shut up, Yoshimori."

What the-? He was starting to get under my skin now.

It was at that moment I realize I was no longer standing near Gen.

I turned, and I saw him on the seesaw. I wanted to talk to him, but I had to remember- this _is_ Gen Shisho.

"Why, you little- Gen, get back here!" I yelled, running after him. Again, he stopped, and this time, turned fully to face me.

"What do you want, Yoshimori?" he hissed.

I wasn't fazed. I was very used to his tough-guy facade.

"Gen, are you okay?" I asked, a little curious about the last few days.

He looked away, and after five minutes, said, "Yeah."

I never let my gaze fall off his face. I know something is wrong with him, and he knew it, too. I wasn't going to stop until he told me the truth.

Man, getting Gen to open up will take awhile, but patience is a virtue. Something neither one of us have.

"Gen, seriously, what's going on? You've been acting weird the last few days." I said, my voice a bit more softer.

He growled at me, and screamed, "Damn,Yoshimori! Can I get through one day without everyone asking me these sappy questions? I'm fine, okay? Stop asking me!"

I was in utter shock. Gen was, too. He began to slowly back away from me, and I was still kind of...stuck there.

"Yoshimori...get away from me." he muttered.

I took a step forward.

"Gen,no-"

"NO! Go away, Yoshimori!" he screamed at me.

I wasn't listening. I kept on advancing.

Gen's claws suddenly came out That never fazed me, either. I know Gen. If he wanted me dead, he would've dome it weeks ago. He knew it, too.

"Yoshimori. This is my last warning. Get the hell away, or I'll rip your jugular out of your scrawny neck!" he cussed.

You would think I would've stopped.

But that was just it. I couldn't.

Luckily, it was just us, and it was getting late. All I focused on was Gen. He was hurting, and I wanted to know why. I had to...do something. I had to...be near him, to touch him. I don't know.

"YOSHIMORI!"

I walked until the tip of his claws were just barely grazing my neck.

"Go ahead, Gen. Do it." I challenged. I stood my ground.

Gen stared at me hard. And again, it wasn't strange to me. I kinda...I missed these times.

His glare was nothing to me, either. Those eyes were a very nice shade of gray, and they had his fierce power and will to live shining in them

"I'm waiting, Gen Shisho."

Gen's hand was beginning to shake. I reached up and took his hand. He wasn't going to do anything. I know him.

"Gen, please. I'm only worried. What's wrong?" I asked , almost pleading with him to stop.

Gen dropped his hand, his claws slowly returning back. He sighed heavily, and began to head back to the park bench. I followed him, sitting down next to him.

"Yoshimori, I'm sorry. I... I don't-"

He was stammering, mainly to himself. It was very-and I mean very-rare that Gen ever apologized to anyone, let alone me.

I looked up at the sky. It was just beginning to turn to evening. Pretty soon, Gramps would be wondering where I am...and go into a fit about it.

Well, it'll be okay. I have to worry about Gen.

I looked over at Gen again, and I saw that he was looking back. That caught me off guard for a minute

"Gen?"

"Yoshimori, I did it. I told him." he spoke, breaking my thought. His voice was so soft, I had to lean over a little to hear him.

"Told what to who?"

He took a deep breath, then looked to the sky as well.

"I told Masamori. About us."

I gasped, and I stared at Gen.

Out of all the- MASAMORI?

"When did Masamori show up? Why?" I demanded.

I mean, I love my big brother, but...he's Masamori. That was the whole issue!

I think I thought aloud, because Gen suddenly jumped up.

"Well, dammit Yoshimori! Who was I supposed to tell?"

I did, too, getting up in his face.

"I don't know! Anybody but him!"

Gen shook his head.

"You're being selfish, you damn bastard."

I smacked the demon out of him. Please don't ask why. He... he lied. I love him, and I just want to know what was wrong with him!

"Gen, don't ever say that. You're lucky I care about you even this much, because not a lot of people do!"

How I wish I could take that back.

Gen was standing there with a shocked expression on his face, and I knew I was mirroring his image.

"Yoshimori...is all that true?" he asked, his lips moving in a slow fashion.

I shook my head no.

Dammit! Me and my big mouth!

"No, Gen! I really do love you, but you keep blocking me out! I don't know what to do, I can't even seem to get through to you!" I cried out, out of ideas or options.

He nodded, then he did something so unexpected.

He hugged me.

I stood there, confused. He never, ever touched me like this, so for him to hug me...

"Gen?"

Gen shook his head again, resting his head on my shoulder. After I'd gotten over my initial shock, I wrapped my arms about him, too.

I had no idea a half-ayakashi could be so comfortably warm and soft like this. It was something about Gen I just never felt.

"Gen, tell me the truth." I pleaded softly into his ear.

Gen never pulled away from me, and I didn't pull from him. He let out a sigh, his breath hot against my cheek.

"Yoshimori, I-I'm confused. I don't...I don't know what's going on with me." he explained.

"Gen, why? Because you love a boy?" I asked flatly.

I mean, maybe it was harder for Gen because he could never get close to anyone, and vice-versa. But he should never have to feel like this.

"Gen, do you feel alone?"

He nodded, burying his face deeper into my shoulder.

"Why?"

Gen didn't answer for a few seconds, and I thought he had fallen asleep. Then, he spoke.

"I guess... I'm a half-ayakashi, and I'm gay, Yoshimori. I don't...I think I..." He stopped, his words failing him.

But even so, I understood him perfectly.

I felt his weight grow heavier, and I told Gen to stand up so I could get him home. It was a good thing his complex was only one and a half blocks away. Gen was staggering all over the place as we walked.

Finally, we reached Gen's apartment. I fished around for his key, him too tired to do it. Opening the door, I led him straight to his bedroom, took off his shoes and his uniform shirt, and helped him into bed. He sank into it almost immediately

"Gen, go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

Gen looked up at me with a really strange expression before he had the faintest smile grace his features.

"Yoshimori, I...I'm confused..." he muttered sleepily.

I smiled back, reaching over to run my fingers in his spiky hair. He sighed contently, then he closed his eyes.

"Yoshimori...is this it?" he said, his voice faint and slurred. Boy, was he tired. Forget Karasumori; he was staying home tonight.

"Is what it?"

Gen was asleep by then.

I turned to head out of the room, everything replaying in my mind.

Gen hugged me. He really...he actually came into contact with me...

I was happy now. If I wanted to understand Gen completely, I have to give him time. I know he's not used to love, but he needs to know he's never alone.

"...yoshimori...stay..."

I froze, then turned. Gen was sitting up, his eyes half-lidded. He was really tired.

I walked over to him. I sat down on his bed, and he laid down on his pillow. He was smiling that same tiny, adorable smile.

"...thank you...Yoshimori..." he trailed off, his eyes falling closed again.

I took off my shoes and tossed them next to Gen's. Then,I called Tokine to tell her that me and Gen weren't going to Karasumori tonight. She said not to worry because they weren't expecting Kaguro and his army anytime soon. I was so glad she understood. I have to talk to her about this soon.

After I hung up, I put me cell in my schoolbag and set it down next to me. Then, for a reason I don't even want to fathom at the moment, I got into bed next to Gen.

_'Gen, I think this might just the a new beginning for us...but only time will tell._'

Gen was fast asleep, his chest still rising and falling perfectly. He was so beautiful, and he just didn't know...he didn't know.

"Gen..."

I smiled again, and got off bed to turn out the lights. Then, I laid back down, and I just listened.

Listened to Gen's breathing, listened to mine.

Listened to his heartbeat. His heart.

The one thing Gen always says he never has.

I wondered how long it would take Gen to realize he has the biggest heart any half-ayakashi I've ever met.

I think it would take some time.

A lot of it.

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**So, that's Chapter Four.**

**Sorry for the late update. I had writer's block, and I got caught up working on other fanfics.**

**Anyway, I hope you like, and do leave reviews! No Flames, please!**

**See ya soon!**

**:**)


	5. Learning

**I'm sorry for those who are still reading this. I hit another writer's block, but I got something started again. I hope you like!**

**Shout out to Beta Type Jakuri for all your help and advice. I hope you like this chapter!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm happy! **

**And now, on with the story!**

**:)**

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**Chapter 5**

**Learning**

**(Gen's POV)**

I woke up the next morning, feeling a slight headache. I was trying to remember the previous night, and when Yoshimori's face came into view, I shuddered. I was so weak, I let my guard down, and Yoshi...he stayed the entire night.

He stayed. In my bed. Next to me. Holding me.

I recalled everything I told him, how I felt about all this, my anger that afternoon at the playground, all of it. And it was so...so unusual. I never, ever talked about myself like that. Not since he found out what happened to my older sister, Ryo, and barely even before then.

I wished she was here. I wanted to ask her about this, what I should do. I was confused, being with him. Yoshi...he just aroused so many different emotions in me, and I can't understand them. They're human emotions, but I guess it's because I'm half-human as well?

I sighed, cracking my neck as I got out of my bed. Stretching, I walked into the kitchen to get me something to eat. I live alone, so that has it's benefits.

As I ate my cereal, still standing near the kitchen sink, I thought about plans for the day. It was Saturday.

I figured I could get some training done, since I knew Kaguro would be back. Ugh. Damn bastard.

I traced my adnomen, aware that there was no physical scar, but still...the sensations of his knifes stabbing me, slicing me like that...it hurt. I never told Yoshi that, but those blades hurt so much, I was surprised that I hadn't blacked out. That never left my mind.

Not only that, bu since I was brought back, I felt his presence was everywhere. I want to kill him even more than Yoshi did. He's caused him so much pain, and as for me...I was sick of him messing with my head, my heart.

Huh. My heart. Yoshi knew I had one, he always knew.

I rested my hand over my heart, feeling the beat through my chest. Is this really mine? I have such a thing living inside me...so why can't I accept it?

My cell ringing snapped me out of trance. I got it, checking the ID, thinking it was the Chief. To be honest, I kinda didn't want to talk to him because...well, I did tell him first. I told him almost flat out that I loved his little brother, and the last thing I needed to hear was him barking at me about that.

When I checked the ID, to my surprise, it was the number...of Tokine?

"Hello."

"Gen? It's Tokine. Listen, I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the park in ten minutes?"

"Why? I don't sense any Ayakashi."

"It's not that. It's about...Yoshimori."

At that, I stopped. I felt a new sensation rise, something...but I can't describe it for nothing.

"...Okay. I'll be there." And I hung up.

Pulling on some black pants and a tight-fitting beater, I tried to come up with a million reason as to why she wanted to talk to me about him.

Maybe she's here to bring me back to reality. That I can't really have him because of who I am. Or maybe Yoshimori told her that he wasn't intrested in me and...

That though caused tears to spring to my eyes, but I hastily rubbed them away. No, that's not it. I trust Yoshimori. I trust everything he said.

And I told myself to relax. This shouldn't take long. Then, it's training, and hopefully tonight, a rematch with the son of a bitch Kaguro. Yeah, that's all.

I grabbed a black jacket, and I headed out. Walking down to the playground, I saw all kinda of people. Humans. It was a very bright day, a little chilly, even to me. Kids were with parents, talking and laughing. All the time in the world was there.

It made me a little jealous. I never got that kind of love and attention from my father. Just my mother and Ryo. I smile a little at that thought.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my father. But he was so worried about my more monstrous half, he never took the time to see me for who I was.

His son, who wanted attention, love, guidance. I hated that all he could see was an uncontrollable little boy who hated everything and everyone around him.

I hate emotions so damn much! I mean, seriously, how can humans handle this day after day?

With all my thinking, I got to the playground in less than eight minutes. I walked over to the very same park bench me and Yoshi sat at just yesterday afternoon. They very same place where I told him of my fear, my confusion.

"Oh! Gen!"

Tokine ran up to me, and I looked at her. She seriously reminds me of Ryo. Always trying to keep me and Yoshi- mainly Yoshi- in line. Trying to get me to open up more, to stop bottling up my emotions.

"Thanks for meeting me here, Gen."

I grunted in response.

For a while, we sat in silence. To be honest, it was annoying.

"Hey, Gen." she said after forever seemed to have passed by.

I looked over at her.

"I'm going to be straightforward with you. Yoshi told me. About you and him."

My jaw must've fallen open in shock. And he was mad when I told his brother?

"When?" I asked, trying to keep my fury at bay.

"Sometime last night. I was home when he called me. We talked. He seemed so...so childish, almost. He was glad. He said he thinks he was finally starting to get through to you."

I finally pulled my jaw up, and stared straight ahead. Did he...he really...ah, damn you, Yoshimori!

"And then he said something very interesting. At least, to me."

"What?"

Tokine tilted her head in though, her bangs moving in sync with the light breeze.

"It's so unlike Yoshimori. He told me that he...he wonders why he waited so long to tell you what he felt for you. When I asked him what he meant, he chuckled and he said...he said that you were worth it. He knows you're having a hard time accepting love and emotions. And for him, he knows it'll take some time for you to get used to this. He loves you, Gen. I mean, truly loves you. And he said...he'll do anything to protect your fragile heart."

At this, I turned fully around. "My fragile heart?" I repeated, making sure I heard right.

"Yeah. Although it was a little out of the ordinary, I realized that at the same time, it was also something he would say. He's always thinking about everyone else."

She looked at me. "But with you, Gen, it's something else entirely. He cares very much about you."

I didn't know what to say. It was like my mind was a blank slate. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Tokine kept going, turning her attention to the little kids yelling and chasing each other.

"After we talked, I went to Karasumori. He sent me another message, telling me he was staying with you. I was thinking about what he said, and I want him to be happy. I want both of you to be happy, but...he thinks that you're still holding something back. And I do, too."

This time, she looked dead at me. "Gen, you may not know it, but Yoshi cares about you. So why can't you tell him the truth?"

I was about to get up and leave. First off, I felt she had no business asking me what I should and should not tell anyone. She was starting to get under my skin!

"You know why. You know I can't let anyone get too close!"

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in annoyance. "Yes, I do. And maybe it's because of what happened with your sister, but-"

"Don't mention her name." I hissed, growing more and more angry with her. Who is she to be telling me what I should do?

"Sorry. But seriously, that's nonsense, Gen. You can let people get close. You choose not to."

"Wait, who the hell are you to tell me how to run my life? Last I checked, this was none of your buiness, so stay the hell out of it!" I yelled, getting up in a puff.

I can't be here right now. I need some time to myself.

"Gen! Gen, wait!"

I ran out of the playground, leaving her, leaving everything behind.

I don't know why I took offense to that. She was right.

I know I can let people in. I just...I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to see anyone get hurt. Not too many people understand my life, understand my pain and where I come from. I'm not normal!

I know that...I'm not normal...but I want so badly to be. I want to not have to worry about these things. I want to be free of this...this burden, to stop harming the ones that love me, the ones I love.

It made my head hurt, and I walked home, taking a long route so I'd have time to think about what Tokine told me. She sees so much potential in me. Both her and Yoshimori.

But am I worthy of being loved? I've wondered that since the day I hurt my own sister. I always knew I was different. I house a part of me that I never want anyone to see. And I know why I withdrew myself from people.

I just...I can't take another human being, an innocent soul...I can't take it if they get hurt. I don't want to hurt them.

I was walking for so long, I didn't realize that the sun was hiding behind some rain clouds. The breeze picked up, and I unzipped my jacket, letting some of the cool air calm my nerves.

_'You can let people get close. You chose not to.'_

Tokine was right. I can let people in, but they'll run away. One they see who I am, they'll turn away in disgust. They'll make sure my life is a living hell. I can't let them.

And then, there's them. Yoshimori and Masamori Sumimura.

Why did I let the Chief get close to me? He took me in, I mean, duh. But...he wanted to know more. He always did. He knew something about me I didn't know, but why him? What was so important about me that he was so curious to discover?

Of course. I was...someone special. He wanted to know why I hid from a world where I can finally be myself.

It's because I can't control myself. I can't keep that demon at bay, and he knows that. He sees that. And still, he persists.

Same with Yoshimori. He is the most stupid legitimate heir I have ever met. It took a boatload of convincing that he was the rightful heir. But...he saw through me so damn quickly, like a sheet of glass. He knew that I was in pain, that I wanted someone to be with me, to guide me down a path much better than the one I took.

That night, when I nearly died...I never saw Yoshimori cry so much. It hit me hard for a reason I didn't quite understand. I fought, and I died trying, but Yoshi...he wouldn't give up. He wouldn't stop crying. And when he kissed me...I thought that I loved him, that it was going to be okay.

Now I can't figure out what's okay and what's not. I love him. I feel it every time we're near each other, when I seem him smiling like he won the jackpot, when I get irritated with him...everything.

But if that's love, if that's what I really feel...why can't I let my uncertainties go? Why do I keep doubting everyone, myself?

I looked up, and it had started to drizzle. Sighing heavily, I kept walking, not caring to zip my jacket up or defending myself against the rain. I needed to get my thoughts together.

I unlocked my door, stepping into my apartment dripping wet. Closing it, I threw my keys on my empty table, and went to my room, peeling my extremely soaked clothes off me.

I looked at my cell, which I thankfully left on my bed. Not even two yet.

I was about to don my sweatsuit on for training and put this entire thing behind me for now when my cell went off.

_'Damn. Who is this?' _I thought_. _I answered on the second buzz. "Hello."

"Gen, it's me. Tokine. Listen, I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have pried into your life like that. I stepped way over boundary lines."

"Okay." I said simply.

"Are you coming to Karasumori tonight?"

"Yeah."

She sounded relived. "Good. I'll see you soon."

She hung up, and I closed my phone. Why was she apologizing? I was acting like an idiot...not that I wold say it to her.

I rolled my eyes at nothing in particular, and went about my training for the day. This was all getting to be too much.

I tell you, I am always going to question emotions. They make a person stress more than help. Why do we have them? Better still, why do _I_ have them?

I trained for a few hours. It was getting to be late, and I stopped to get myself some water. While I did, I began to wonder if this was all really for the best. Karasumori let me live just as much as Yoshi did. But what was so important? What am I missing?

"Dammit!"

I crushed my glass, breaking it in my hand, and I watched as the blood dripped and gently ran down my fingers onto the floor. I stood still.

Don't really know why I did. I just stood there, the blood dripping eerily on my floor. After some time, I went to clean my hand and bandage it. Yoshimori is going to be very interested in this one, I told myself with a sigh.

It's almost time for me to meet up with them. I changed my clothes, putting on my usual gear before checking my phone and placing that in my back pocket. Then, I grinned.

Tonight, I hoped Kaguro would be back. I wanted him to be there so much so I can rip him limb from limb. I noticed Yoshimori was growing stronger, and he would want the same thing I did.

As night approached, I left, running through the trees to perch in my favorite one before the other two got here.

Another thought crossed my mind. If Kaguro does return...I have to protect Yoshimori. Knowing that little fool, he'll try to inflict pain of him that he thought I felt, and I don't want him to get hurt. I will probably never tell him that to his face, though.

But he knows. That's all that matters to me.

I sighed, content with myself, and closed my eyes, waiting to hear his annoying yelling that would echo through the night.


	6. Heart

**Sorry that this came up so late! I actually had a lot of fun writing this one! I do hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything more than the love.**

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**Chapter 6**

**Heart**

**(Gen's POV)**

Another night finished. Gosh, these nights at Karasumori aren't even a challenge anymore!

I walked with Yoshimori and Tokine as we headed back to our homes in the wee hours of the morning. Yoshimori and Tokine were up in the front as usual, and I lingered around back. That's becoming more and more the norm these days.

I kinda like it. Atora was right...maybe I do need to open my heart up more...these guys aren't that bad, and even after my...transformation, they still cared...

But I was feeling Yoshimori's whining tonight. Nothing was adding up these past few days.

Everything was too fast! Even the cleanup had been fast...but then again, just like the past few nights or so, there hasn't been much activity around here. I told Masamori about it, and he said he'd look into it as soon as possible.

And Yoshimori had been so uncontrollable at times, too...he was pissed when Kaguro never showed. Here was one thing that I agreed with. And I was too, in a way.

I was so ready to finish this with him once and for all...I wanted to put his mouth far, far underground, along with the rest of him...if it shuts him up and lets Yoshimori get a peace of mind.

But it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. At least, I don't think so.

I want to be ready, nonetheless. I get the feeling that Kaguro is planning something huge...and I get the feeling that me, Yoshimori and everyone we know is gonna be at risk if we aren't.

We have to be ready.

The next morning, I winced at the beam of light that slithered through my curtains. I sighed with annoyance, realizing that I would have to get my butt out of bed this morning.

Surprisingly, there was one thing on my mind as I made myself some breakfast.

I wanted to call Yoshimori for some odd, odd reason and wish him a good morning. And that was really freaking me out. Never in my life had I ever though such a...a...a weird and nasty feeling before!

But I told the baka that I loved him...so he knows...ahhhh!

Annoyed even more, I downed my cereal and went about preparing for some morning training. Maybe that's why I'm thinking so strangely...I've been slacking.

Even after the first battle with Kaguro, and I transformed, I was only able to keep up with him for so long.

Yeah...the first thing I needed to do was some running. Seriously.

I don't know if it was me or the enemy we fought last night, but I felt...so slow for some reason. Even when I used part of my Ayakashi energy to catch the damn thing, I felt like I wasn't running at my top speed.

No way was I letting that slip. Speed is part of who I am; if I let that slip up, I'm screwed.

Not to mention...Yoshimori will have a field day with that.

It was pretty nice outside today, even though it was only eight in the morning. I smiled.

Good. No one is gonna be up that early in the day on a Saturday.

My paws retracted, and I took a running start. I closed my eyes, calming my nerves and clearing my mind. I have to be completely focused...

And it would've been perfect if not for a certain raven-haired dufus.

"Hey! GEN!"

I almost tripped on imaginary air. Irritated, I let my feet return to normal and looked up at the apartment roof in completely anger.

"Dammit, Yoshimori! It's rude to break someone's concentration!" I yelled back.

He cocked his head and grinned. I wonder...was he always this happy as a child? I think I should ask his brother about that later...

"Well, you're not IMPORTANT!" he gleefully screamed back.

My eye twitched, and my fingers were itching to close in around his little neck. But then it hit me.

Why on Earth was he even out here at eight something in the morning...on a weekend? From what I heard Tokine yelling about, he hates getting up for school on time unless forced.

"Yoshimori, what are you doing here?" I asked, keeping my tone flat so he'd get the hint to leave.

He jumped down and walked up to me, still wearing his grin. I noticed his floating ghost dog wasn't with him, and I figured that he left some time ago.

"Nothin', really." he said, apparently unfazed by my coldness. He stood dead in front of me, at least a foot or so apart.

"I was walking around and just happened to notice you about to run. So...yeah. That's pretty much it."

I sighed. "You are unbelievable, you know that?"

He gave me a thumbs-up. "Yeah, I know. And that's what makes me so great!"

Even I couldn't help but chuckle at that one.

"Well, since I'm here...you wanna race?" he suddenly asked.

I crossed my arms. "You? Want to race me?"

He nodded. "Yoshimori, you know that I have the higher advantage here, right?"

He nodded again. "And you know that there's a very high chance you'll lose, right?"

He nodded a third time.

"You're not taking no for an answer, are you?"

"Nope."

We stood staring at each other for a minute longer before I finally said, "Where do you wanna end the race?"

Yoshimori laughed. "I knew you'd take me seriously! And for today...hmm...why not end it at Karasumori? We can start father back down at my place. Sounds good?"

"Whatever." I grunted. "Let's just get this over with."

I walked back down with him, listening as he hummed and nodded and overall, acted like Yoshimori. It was...the second strangest sensation I ever felt.

Just walking with a boy that I kissed, that I told that I loved, and who can drive me nuts with his simpleminded personality...

I wonder if that's the reason why I liked him in the first place...because of all that...

And because he makes_ me_ feel like a...a person...a person who can protect those he loves...

A person...truly worthy to be considered a friend...a lover...

"Say, Gen?" he asked out of the blue. We had to be about a half block from his house by now.

"Yeah, what?"

Yoshimori looked like he had been thinking about this for a long time, which was unusual since thinking sometimes is not his strong suit.

But his face was so serious, it made me a bit uneasy, to be honest. If he thought he was going to Kokobouro to fight Kaguro or do something crazy, he wasn't getting no support from me-yet.

Me and him both know it. Even with our combined powers, we're still no match for that son of a bitch. And to actually get there? He wouldn't make it.

Bastard...I hate Kaguro so much. But he's something else, unlike any Ayakashi I've ever faced.

And Yoshimori knows...he's just way too fast and too powerful...

"I wanna ask you something."

I was getting intrigued now, but kept my expression flat so he wouldn't notice. "Yeah, what?" I replied again.

He stopped walking completely, looked at the sky, looked at me, then shook his head and said, "This is gonna sound nuts, but I wanna make a bet. And you"-he poked me in my chest- "have to uphold your end of the bargain."

I moved his prodding finger and crossed my arms. It was getting later in the morning already, so whatever this bet of his was, I wanted to make it and get it over with so that I could mop the floor with him.

"Okay. What are your wages?" I asked.

He grinned, but something told me that he was going to make me bet something that I hated doing...and naturally, I was right.

"If I win, you have to come with me somewhere."

I hated going anywhere, and I didn't like being around people...much. He knew that more than any other person on the damn planet! So when he said that, I arched my eyebrow in question.

Yoshimori shook his head gleefully. "And I'm not telling you until we get there. It's a surprise."

I sighed heavily. He's never gonna let me hear the end of it if I say no...

"And if you win...I'll let you off the hook and not bother you for two days."

I thought about it. I never made a bet with anyone before, and Yoshimori's wagers sounded both interesting and worrisome...but I did like that part about him leaving me alone for two days...I could actually get some training done...and have another chat with Masamori...

"Make it a week and you have a deal, Sumimura." I said.

He pouted, crossing his own arms. "Why a week, Gen? You're being mean!" he whined.

I turned to head into his house, dismissing that. I knew who would win this match.

"It's either that or no bet!" I yelled back.

I stood at his front door, and only had to wait about four and a half minutes before Yoshimori came, looking like he was ill or something.

I mentally laughed. _'Looks like I won again.'_

He stuck his tongue out and grumbled that he would accept my terms.

"Only thing-going to Karasumori doesn't count. And school, too. We're right next door to each other."

"Fine."

Seeing that he was at least a bit happier at the current terms, I stepped aside so that he could lead me to where he wanted the race to begin.

As I walked through his home, I couldn't help but feel a little...warm inside. I was surprised that I still remembered this place so vividly. But then again...it wasn't that long ago...

I had been here before, when I was so close to losing my own life...

I never did tell Yoshimori this that night, but I liked staying here. Being around those that cared so much for me...it was something I hadn't gotten used to much, but...it felt...nice, I suppose.

I actually felt kinda jealous of both Yoshimori and the Yukimura girl...Tokine. They had people like that to lean on when times got tough...when they were younger...

I wonder how that would have felt...if I had lived with my father and Ryo...

"Gen? Gen, snap out of it!"

I jumped slightly. Yoshimori had led me out back, and had been snapping his fingers in my face.

"Gen, are you alright?" Yoshimori asked, worried. "You almost ran into at least two walls!"

I nodded, looking away from him. And you have no idea how badly I had wanted to tell him what I had just thought about. But...I suddenly found that I couldn't speak a word.

So I just stuck with my usual, _'Yeah, I'm fine.'_

But Yoshimori didn't buy that. And I was wondering when this race of ours was gonna begin.

"Gen, I wanna make another bet."

My ears twitched at that and I looked at him. This time, he seemed even more serious than before, and I think I knew what he wanted.

"If I win this race...I want you to tell me what you were thinking about. And I want to know the truth about it."

I blinked. He looked at me with this expression...it went past the word 'determined.'

No...it was something else...I saw it that night when we first fought Kaguro, when I transformed...and even then, I still couldn't place what it was...

"Yoshimori-"

"Agree to it."

And I assumed that there was no room for a discussion. Not with that tone he was using. So I nodded and told him that I would, knowing full well that would never come to pass.

I was gonna win this race.

And I was keeping my thoughts to myself.

Wait...wait, wait, wait. Why the hell am I being so stubborn?

I mean, I knew that I could talk to him. I was able to finally trust those two...and hell they still trusted me, even after I transformed into my Ayakashi half...

So what was so different now? All he wanted to know was what I was thinking about. And I don't know what's so different about that...

_'Well, I guess I do know, don't I?' _I thought to myself as me and Yoshimori walked to the backyard. No one seemed to be home, which I thought was strange since it was Saturday.

I guess I do know why I can't tell him, no matter how much I want to.

It's because I'm still getting used to this...thing inside me, that very thing those two said I had.

I must be getting used to my own heart...and what it wants me to do.

"Gen, we can start here. No dirty tricks, okay? And that bet from earlier is still on, so make sure you go all out, kay?" he said, getting into starting position.

"After all, I can't be having fun if you're too slow." he finished with a grin.

I scoffed, also getting into a starting position, forgetting about my heart and these other weird emotions for the time being.

"Me? Slow? Yoshimori, you must have hit your head too hard last night."

He chuckled.

"Okay then. Ready?"

I nodded, focusing all my energy and my mind on winning this race.

"Set..."

I have to remember to calm down...and I have to win!

"GO!"

And we took off, running through his home and out on the street. Karasumori High was a pretty good distance, but with my speed, I knew I had no trouble.

I ran down the block, making sure to avoid these rather troublesome pedestrians that kept getting in my way. A few feet behind, I heard Yoshimori as he kept in tune with me.

"Wow, Gen! You're faster than usual!" he happily called from behind.

I ignored him, not wanting to break my concentration. I knew exactly how I wanted to win this race...as soon as I pass the Yukimura place, I know this is over.

A few minutes into our little race, Yoshimori had gotten a lot faster, even though he wasn't using any of his kekkai, and was in pace with me. I got highly annoyed.

"Oh no you don't!"

And I saw a trash can sitting in the middle of the street we were running on. I smirked.

If he thought I wasn't gonna play dirty, he was sorely mistaken.

I knocked the trash can over as soon as I passed it, and I almost laughed when I heard Yoshimori hit it and fall.

"No fair, Gen! I said no dirty tricks!" he whined.

I looked behind me for a split second. I did feel slightly sorry for him, but only for a minute.

Please, Yoshimori...you should have better reflexes than this.

"Try and pay attention then, baka!" I called back, and continued to the Yukimura place.

There were a few more houses I had to pass before I finally got there, and I stopped. I hadn't heard Yoshimori since that little trash can moment, and I wondered if he was okay.

Then I had to physically slap myself on the forehead. Of course he's okay! He's probably gaining on me as I speak, just whining as he usually does...

Accepting that, I hopped on top of the Yukimuras's roof, and I looked down the block. Karasumori wasn't far now.

I shrugged. I told him I would win. Besides, I had planned this as part of my run.

I took off, hopping from roof to roof, still listening out for Yoshimori. It wasn't long before I caught a blue flash coming up behind me, and I smirked.

I told you, he'd be fine.

"Cheater! I'm not letting you win, Gen!" he screamed as he came after me.

"Ketsu! Ketsu!"

I turned around mid-jump, and was surprised at how much distance he had covered just by using a few of his Kekkai. I knew that wasn't the only thing he could've done, but I didn't care.

He made this little run a lot more interesting.

I allowed my feet to change, and began to hop over the roofs to get to Karasumori a lot faster. Yoshimori wasn't giving up, either.

Pretty soon, we ended up on Karasumori's rooftop, and I stopped.

"I won." I said to him as soon as his foot touched the ground.

He pouted. "Damn you, you cheater!" he cussed at me crossing his arms and plopping down on the hard ground.

I sat down as well. "Oh, quit being a baby. You used your kekkai, I used other methods of winning. We both cheated. I just did it better."

Yoshimori eyed me for a minute before he broke out into his usual goofy grin. Laying back on the ground with his hands tucked behind his head, he laughed and said, "Well, when you put it that way...you're right."

He then looked dead at me. "Next time, I won't lose."

I chuckled. "You're so simpleminded, you know that?"

He chuckled as well. "Nah...I'm just a really stubborn guy."

I laid back on the ground as well, tucking one arm behind my head, and checking the time on my cell with the other.

Wow...it was almost one in the afternoon already? Time does fly when you're having fun...

Yoshimori and I laid there for a while, catching our breaths and some sunlight. It was getting warmer out, so I unzipped my coat.

"Hey Gen. Can I ask you something?" he said out of the blue.

I nodded, still fixated on the sky.

Yoshimori rolled over on his side and propped his head up on one hand.

"Why don't you ever tell anyone what's on your mind?"

I sighed. Dammit, he must still be thinking about earlier...

"Because it's none of their business." I answered.

Yoshimori rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd say that. Okay, then tell me this. That night, when we fought against that bastard...were you afraid to die?"

I looked at him. "Where is all this coming from, Sumimura?" I questioned.

Yoshimori looked away. "I...I don't know. I was...I was thinking about that fight...about Kaguro, and I realized that I was honestly scared out of my mind that night."

He closed his eyes as a gentle breeze brushed over us. "I can't let my emotions get in the way of protecting this site...I know that. But...I was scared. I thought you were honestly gonna die..."

I smiled. "I know. To be honest...I thought I was, too. Yet...Karasumori gave me a second chance. I should be happy for that. I have another chance to finish that bastard Kaguro off once and for all."

Yoshimori smiled again, and somewhere inside me, I felt this...sensation. It was so different.

Every time I see him smiling, I get that very same sensation...and I wonder if it's because I'm in love with this boy...

I think I'm beginning to understand what Atora was talking about. I know that I can open myself up to him, but...

I think that I'm scared of what's gonna happen. I don't want things to change for us...for me.

"Gen, I believe that we can kill him. I saw your transformation, and it was incredible! I never knew you could turn into something so damn awesome!" he said, almost beaming with happiness.

Then his face fell a bit. "But...that tattoo...didn't it...?"

I rested my hand on my stomach. "Yeah. It hurt like hell. But I had to fight past that. You know what that tattoo was for. And you know that I had to fight past that if I had wanted to transform. Even afterward, I had to concentrate to make sure that I wouldn't go out of control."

I looked back up at the sky as another gentle breeze fluttered my hair. "And to be honest...I think the reason I wasn't afraid to die...was because I finally did something with my power than didn't hurt anyone. I protected those I cared about...and that was all I had wanted. Whatever Karasumori had in store for me, I was ready for it."

Yoshimori didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he looked back at me and spoke.

"I'm just glad you got this chance. I didn't...I didn't want you to die, Gen. None of us did."

I chuckled softly. "I know. You were crying so much that night...and I was surprised. I didn't think I'd be missed so much. Especially by someone like you."

"You do have people who care about you, you know. And I wasn't the only one crying that night. Atora was still sobbing even after Tokine told her you were gonna make it. We both kinda were. I was still afraid of what would happen afterward...if he came back to hurt you..."

I didn't know what to say to that. I knew Atora would be upset. Hell, she loved me like a mother, almost. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why _he _ would be so upset.

Up until that night, I just didn't get him at all.

And until I told him that night how much I loved him, I thought I never would.

Now, with this whole talk and everything that he's done, I think things were starting to clear up for me a little.

"Gen, I know that you had a hard enough time trying to trust others. But I want you to know you can trust me. I'll be patient...and I'll let you decide when you're ready to truly open your heart to me." he said, smiling.

I nodded, my chest feeling tight. That was so...unexpected. Why does this happen every time he talks to me like that?

It was around three that we finally left, and I went back to my apartment. I was getting so confused all over again.

Yoshimori makes me feel like this...he makes my chest tight and my heart race and gives me thoughts that I would have never once in my life have...

He makes me feel like this because I love him.

If I could tell him that...if I could tell him that I did love him...why can't I tell him everything else?

Why is my heart so damn complicated?


	7. Unaware

**Hi everyone! Sorry to keep you all waiting! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it! As usual, own nothing, just the plotline. **

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**Chapter 7**

**Unaware**

**(Yoshi's POV)**

Damn you, Gen! Damn you to hell!

The bastard cheated! He cheated, and he won!

Ugh...but a bet is a bet. So I had to uphold my end of it. I wasn't supposed to speak or mess with him for a week. At least at night, I could drive him nuts...but he never answers me, gotdammit! It's just like when we first met!

Dammit! Why must fate be so mean?

And for the next three days, I had to force myself to keep my mouth shut, even when he did things that drove me up the wall and back down again (and most of it, I swear he did it on purpose just because he knew he could get away with it!)

I tried to tell Tokine, but she was being even more harsher than Gen! She really didn't get the point of having this dumb bet, and she _really _didn't understand why it troubled me so much!

Oh why? Why does this happen to me?

But about four days later, when I was still wondering why, a strange thing happened.

Gen came to me one morning while I was napping on the roof during my math class. I found it strange at first because my math class was around 10, and he never came up until almost 12 or something. At the time though, I thought that he was just getting an early start on his sleep, and didn't say a word to him.

I don't blame him at all. Hell, with all the work we do at Karasumori every night, sleep is more of a luxury these days...

For the next hour to hour and a half, Gen and I never spoke. I was still staring through my light blue kekkai, trying to will myself to sleep, when Gen literally asked me a question that caught me off guard.

"Sumimura, where did you want to go?"

I looked over at him, wondering if he was mumbling in his nap or something. I mean, seriously, was that what he dreamed about? Weird...

But I was quickly proven wrong when I saw him looking right at me. And I must have looked highly surprised.

He was dead serious at what he was asking of me...did he really wanted to know?

"We have a bet, remember? I'm not supposed to talk to you for another _three_ days." I said sourly, still upset at that. I turned my back to him, my chest suddenly feeling tight.

I do love Gen, and he knows I like talking to him when we're up here. It's probably the only other time I get to speak with him privately, especially since he opens up a lot more than he did before after our fight with Kaguro.

But Gen waved that aside, and actually completely sat up, crossing his legs and looking at me. "Forget that for a minute and just answer me." he said again, still keeping his voice calm and cool.

"I want to know. What did you want to do if you had won?"

I shrugged, still not facing him, and trying to act indifferent. But it was hard!

This wasn't Gen! Things like that...things that were..._emotionally related..._he could care less about.

But right now, he sounded really...I guess, caring. Really sincere and caring. Like he really wanted to know what I wanted to do...

"N-Nowhere special, really. Just...wanted to go somewhere with you."

Gen snorted quietly. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, so I left it alone. A few minutes later, I asked him a question of my own, still highly suspicious of this whole thing, even though I knew I still had to uphold my end of the bet.

"Why did you want to know?"

He shook his head. "No reason. Just wondering."

I was going to ask him again, feeling like he had completely bypassed my question, when he turned around so that his back was facing me. Another few minutes and his quiet breathing filled the air.

Now I felt even more bothered. Why did Gen break the bet just to ask me that? And why on earth did he care so much?

_'Dammit! Gen Shisho, I hate it when you do that!' _my mind screamed. I pouted, and turned back around in my kekkai, slightly pissed.

I swear, this guy is unbelievable! But...maybe there was another motive?

Could there be?

Maybe there was something within his question that I had missed the first time. Could that be it?

Whatever it was, now that I still had three more days until my bet was satisfied, I had time to ponder quite a few things.

To be honest, I really had no idea what I wanted to do had I won. I really didn't. I just wanted Gen to get out of the house more. And yet, at the same time, I _did_ want just the two of us to go someplace.

But above all else...I wanted to see Gen smiling, to hear him laugh. I never heard any stories of him having _something_ resembling a normal childhood. I know that he never got that chance as a child.

And I felt that he should have the freedom to experience more than just training and defending Karasumori. I wanted to see Gen act like a typical teen for once.

If he can even crack his awkward smile like he did that night...the night after the battle...that's all I need.

I still couldn't take a nap, which was really starting to worry me to a point. But I did come up with somewhere the two of us could go.

An amusement park! It was perfect. It had crowds of people, candy, games, rides...and one of many places he never got the chance to experience as a normal child.

I chuckled quietly to myself as thoughts of Gen actually riding a roller coaster begin to invade my mind.

It'd be funny to see him on one of those things...and it'd be cute. It really would. I'd like to see that.

And I'd like to hear him laugh too, even if it is fake. And I know Gen hates people like I hate Kaguro, but hating and fearing people won't help him. I want him to know that there is good people in this world, no matter what he is or what he thinks people may assume about him.

So I began to think about all the amusement parks that were nearby. I was so ecstatic. This was gonna be fun!

Three days later, I was finally allowed to speak to Gen, as the bet had finally been fulfilled. I made a mental note to myself as I headed to school that I would never let him use that bet against me ever again.

And I know he had a ball with not having to talk to me...that jerk! But I didn't care too much about that anymore.

I had some things to do before the next two weeks arrived. And I had all weekend to do it...minus Karasumori and my training.

After school let out for the weekend, I walked home with Tokine as usual. Gen had left sometime earlier.

"So Yoshimori, are you and Gen okay again? You haven't said barely a word to each other all week!" she asked. Wow, I guess she really _was _concerned...but wait!

"I told you already, but you apperntly didn't-OWW!"

She hit me upside my head with her bag! What the hell is in there anyway?

"What the hell?" I yelled, rubbing my sore head lump. She seemed pissed.

I rolled my eyes, then quickly explained the short story before she opted to whack me again. When I finished, she looked at me like all the brain in my head was falling out. Which, from the way she hit me, might have happened already.

"Wait, so you're saying that the entire reason you two were working so well together was because of a _bet?_" she exclaimed loudly, almost catching more than a few head turns.

I blushed slightly, looking away from her. When she put it like that...yikes, she's so damn embarrassing! And did she have to scream?

"Y-Yes, so what?"

She looked at me for a few seconds, then began walking away, shaking her head and mumbling. I jogged up to her, already having a pretty good deal that I knew what she was saying.

"So what would have happened had you won?"

I grinned. "He would have to go somewhere with me."

She smiled. "I knew it. So you are in love with him?"

I sighed, putting my hands behind my head. Now, if my memory isn't scrambled completely, she had asked me this twice. And that first time, I was so unsure of what I was feeling, even though I told him that I loved him, and I kissed him...

But this time, I feel different. I mean, I know that I love Gen, but for some reason I can't seem to put it into words.

"Hello? Yoshimori?"

I shook my head and looked at her. "Yeah?"

She arched her eyebrow at me, adjusting her bag. "I asked if you are truly in love with Gen."

I tilted my head. You know, I never noticed how bright her eyes looked in the afternoon sunlight. They really did glisten...

Strange how I'm all of sudden taking notice to little things like that. I never did before...and it has to be because of him...it just has to be...

"I-I think..."

Tokine tilted her head as we continued to walk. "You...what? Speak up, I can't hear you!"

I shrugged, acting indifferent. "That's none of your business, Tokine!"

She smiled her I-Know-All smile and looked away. "Whatever you say, Yoshimori."

I was about to throw a comeback at her, but we reached the gate that led to her home. I told her that I'd see her tomorrow or something, and proceeded to head to my house.

The entire time, I wondered if Gen _not_ running around roofs was normal...no, it isn't. It really isn't like him at all...I mean, even if he _did_ leave early, he was still training. Always was, damn bastard, which is why I have to keep up with him!

But still...it was a weird feeling not hearing him. I mean, _at_ _all_. I hadn't even gotten much of a chance to talk to him today, despite the fact the bet was over. He kept...avoiding me, almost. And trust me, I bumped into him many times, and I even sat at lunch with him that day, but he barely said a word to me. And whenever I tried to ask what was wrong, he'd revert back to his cold ways and not even acknowledge my presence. I found it to be so weird.

In fact, if I didn't want to risk him slicing my throat wide open, I'd say he looked...confused, I think. I can't really describe it. But it wasn't an expression I'm used to seeing on his face.

He was out of it pretty much the entire day. And when we went up on the rooftops to catch a little R&R, Gen barely slept. That was when I knew something was wrong. I thought that it might be the fact that he was still getting accustomed to his emotions, to the actual truth that he is in love with another male.

But this time, I decided to let it go for now. Gen would tell me when he was ready.

Besides, I knew just what I wanted to do within the next two weeks to help take his mind off things.

As I made a right along a slightly narrow block, I felt heat rising up my face, and my hands clenched. I remember this place...

_'This was were Kaguro tried to hurt Gen somehow. And...where Gen attacked me...'_

I sighed. I mean, I forgave him for that attack. It was my fault for pushing his buttons, especially after the stunt Kaguro tried pulling over Gen's head. But Kaguro...he wanted Gen for what? To help him steal Karasumori? To save this 'Princess'? What?

I never asked, and to this day, Gen never said anything about it. I wonder if _that's_ what's troubling him...

And then there's that Princess lady. Whatever she wants, it does have something to do with the Ayakashi and Karasumori, but I just don't know what. From what Tokine and Gramps kept telling me, and from what Masamori said, they believe the only reason Kaguro and Byaku retreated was because it was a stalling method to prepare a better suited army to take the scared site.

That makes sense, especially since Gen would've killed them all, particularly horse-face...what was his name? Gagin...that's it.

Gen would've defeated them all with his true power that night. And he...

I shuddered, stopping in my tracks.

_'It doens't matter! I would've lost him...I would've lost Gen that night, and I...I don't think I...'_

I looked up at the sky, trying to clear that thought out of my head. It's so clear right now...I wonder if it'll always be like this. I wish it would.

I don't know what I'm gonna do about this. I need to speak to Gramps. I need more information on this Byaku person, and we need to know when they're gonna strike!

I shook my head and began walking down the street. I hated thinking sometimes.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, I missed a familar- and ugly- dude standing at the end of the block. But once I walked past, and he started laughing...I knew.

Karma decided to be a bitch at just the right time.

"Hello, Yoshimori. Long time no see."

I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart ready to jump out of my chest. Whirling around, I felt my lips rise into a snarl at that thing that stood before me.

Kaguro.

"Aww, what's wrong? Not happy to see me? I'm hurt." he said in this playful, mocking tone. I really had to restrain from wanting to beat him lifeless and then some, and instead, asked what he wanted with me.

The moment he took one step toward me, I tensed, and took a defensive stance. He had something planned, and I'll be damned if he hurts Gen anymore!

Oddly enough, he stopped dead in front of me, and I had to actually look up to see his disgusting face. For a human skin, it didn't do much good. His red eyes made him look even creeepier, and that tight black suit just looked out of place.

"Bastard! What do you want?" I asked again, deciding at the same time that I was gonna attack him if I needed to.

But he just laughed, put both his hands in his pockets, and tilted his head backwards.

"Say, Yoshimori, do you know why it is you're protecting this site?" he asked.

I shuffled back half a step. "Yeah. To keep evil ayakashi like you from getting it's power."

He grinned, and from the corner of my eye, I watched his left hand retreat from its home. I was about to surround it in a kekkai when he extended his arm out and simply dropped his item.

"What is this?"

Kaguro grinned. "This...was what I gave your friend last time we met."

I looked at it. It was a pulsing egg, purple, and I thought I saw something moving around in it.

"I'm not taking that from the likes of you!" I screamed, kicking the thing far away from me.

Kaguro watched the egg thing roll away, shook his head and sighed dramtically. I _really _hate this damn Ayakashi...I really do.

He turned back toward me, and this time, I didn't want to hear any of what he had to say.

"KETSU!" I yelled.

He chuckled, and as I half-expected, dodged my attack completely.

What I didn't expect- or rather, what I _forgot_- was how fast he could launch a powerful counter attack. And the one he landed on me sent me flying down a couple blocks. Good thing no one saw that or got hurt.

"Gah...d-dammit..." I grunted to myself, standing up.

I'm still not fast enough...not nearly fast or strong enough to take him on by myself...

But it seemed like he had no further intention of attacking me, which both shocked me to a point and yet, didn't surprise me in the least.

"Hehehe...you _really_ need to stop trying to fight me. It's useless. You can't win. And besides..." he spoke, traling off for a brief moment.

"...I didn't come to fight you. I simply came to have a friendly chat." His grin made me want to shove his teeth deep down his throat.

"Ah, well. Time for me to depart. Oh, and about that...thing that you just kicked...I suggest you ask your _friend_ about that. Gen Shisho, right? He knows what it's for..."

And, laughing that same damn cackle I've offically come to hate, he hopped on top of a house and ran off. His laugh echoed in the still air as he left.

I looked down the street. Right where Kaguro had been standing, that pulsing egg lay unharmed by my kick.

_'What did he mean? Is this what he tried to give Gen?' _I thought as I cautiously walked up to the thing. I picked it up, and I was surprised by how warm it felt. That, and the creepy fact that I felt each pulse.

"YOSHIMORI! DROP IT!"

I jumped, and turned around.

Gen was standing there, one of his hands transformed into claws.

And he was _furious._

"Gen, wait-!"

But he lunged at me, swinging and hitting the thing out of my hand.

"Didn't you hear me? This thing is evil!" he screamed, the tiny egg in his massive paw. I didn't know what to say for a minute. Gen's face...it was actually scaring me.

"This _thing _is what almost killed us all! It's evil, Yoshimori!"

And he crushed it.

I stood there, watching the pieces of the egg falling out of his paw, and I shuddered.

Gen looked at me, a furious glare still on his face. "Was he here?" he asked in a deadly low voice.

"Yeah, but-"

And that was when he did it.

He punched me. Right in my face.

I fell to the ground, my hand cupping my cheek. Looking up at Gen, I had the urge to scream at him, to ask why he did that when I never got a chance to tell him what happened!

But he looked just as confused as I was.

"Y-Yoshimori..."

And he took off. I sat there, completely dumbfounded.

What the hell just happened?


	8. Afraid and Alone

**Hello again! Yes, I'm back, and I have yet another chapter! So, so sorry for the long wait! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favored and alerted this story! It means a lot! Thank you all for also being patient with me! I will try my best to work faster! '^.^  
**

**Anyway, enjoy! I own nothing, sadly, but the plotline.  
**

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**Chapter 8**

**Afraid and Alone**

**(Gen's POV)**

Dammit...damn it all!

I did it again...I hit him...

I didn't want to see that...that _thing..._I never wanted to see that thing..._ever _again...

Yoshimori...

"Ah, damn it all to hell!" I yelled, not taking heed to the many stares I was receiving. Honestly, these people mean nothing to me, so they can stare all they want.

They only person who matters to me...the only one who truly knows about me, my past, my heart...is him.

And yet, he's always the one I lash out at most. Why?

Why do I keep doing that! Unless...unless I...

"No. Gen Shisho is _never _afraid. _Never." _I hissed to myself. I shook that ludicrous thought from my head and continued walking home. I only hope Yoshimori would still want to be around me after the second attack...

When I reached my apartment (and I had actually lost track of time, to be honest), I noticed that there was a lone piece of paper slid under my door. I arched my eyebrow in confusion. I had never gotten any type of mail until today, so this had to be a really corny joke.

But there's no harm in looking, right?

I picked it up, closing the door with my foot after me. The piece of paper was a note.

A note from Yoshimori.

It was basic. He wanted to meet me a block away from Karasumori in about an hour. He said he needed to talk to me, and he had a feeling he wouldn't want to do so at his place. The note wasn't signed with his name, but I could tell it was him.

I stared at the paper like I was holding a kitty in my hands. Why on earth would he want to meet me so far away?

_'Scratch that. If that bastard would be at one place, it probably be there. But is this about what happened yesterday or is it something else?' _I shook my head and tossed the note aside.

What I really wanted to know was when the hell did I get this note? I came back late after that little incident with Yoshimori, and it wasn't there when I left to beat myself up for what I did. So when did he...? I swear, I cannot figure out that boy sometimes.

I was beyond confused, but shrugged and decided to call it. Knowing Yoshimori, this wouldn't take so long-mainly because he'd be doing all the talking while I'd be sitting or standing there looking my usual self..

I looked at my phone. It was a little after three, so I figured I'd leave about ten minutes to four.

I threw down my books and bag and collapsed on my futon, looking at my messages with little interest. I didn't get anything from Masamori, so I guess he had something important to do.

Chief...Masamori...whenever I thought about it, it sounded...I don't know, weird. I mean, I knew Masamori's real name, but I had grown accustomed to calling him 'Chief.' That was just how it was. I didn't see the need to call him by his full name. Never did.

He was Chief to me, and for a long time, that's all I needed to know. How simple life used to be...in a way.

I never had to say anything more than my name. Gen. That's all others needed to know.

I sighed, turning on my side.

Then there was Yoshimori...who I can't ever recall using his nickname, Yoshi, or even his actual name more than once. I always called him Sumimura... and always tried my hardest to keep him out of my life, but that was before I realized just how much I...

I snapped my phone shut, put it under my pillow and turned so that I could lay on my back. I needed to really think about this.

I've always called Masamori 'Chief'. I've always called Tokine 'that Yukimura girl'. Before I began to fall in...love with Yoshimori, I've always called him 'Sumimura.'

I looked at my hand. I never told anyone other than Masamori...Chief...whichever...about my past. Then again, that jerk knew somehow! Never knew how, but then again, considering what I had done...

But no one knew. No one knew how lonely I felt as a child because I was always teased, always...tested. I mean, people knew I was different, but I've always wanted to be accepted in normal life. No one knew what I felt inside... lonely, alone... afraid.

I was afraid.

No one knew about what I had done to my only true childhood friend, my older sister, Ryo.

No one knew anything about me, only that I was creepy, silent and a loner.

No one knew...because I never told.

"And I never told anyone because...I'm...afraid." I whispered.

In the stillness of my apartment, I finally said it.

The reason I was so angry at Yoshimori was because I was afraid that I would hurt him. Afraid that I would force him away, force him to...hate me.

I'm afraid to hurt anymore people, yet I've gotten so used to curling into my defenses, no one really...sees that. They think I _want _to hurt others, that I _want _force people away, but I...I don't.

I know Yoshimori knows this... he's always had a clue, even before we talked to each other... I don't know how... guess that kid could just see good in people...

I gritted my teeth. I mean, I know what I want! I want to protect him, to protect Karasumori...I want to protect those I know, care about and love. I want to accept this...this _thing_ inside me called a heart! I want others to know that I don't like hearing them crying out in pain!

And I...I don't want to see anymore people hurting because of _me_...because of what I _am_...

I curled up on my side, my eyes shut tight. And I could feel the dampness running across my nose.

_'I'm so afraid to be hurt...so afraid that I'll hurt others...hurt Yoshimori...'_

I don't want to be alone... I can't _handle _being alone!

Just then, something that Yoshimori said a while ago came back to me...

"_I'll be patient...and I'll let you decide when you're ready to truly open your heart to me..."_

I rested my hand over my chest. I remembered that night, even now. I don't think I'd ever forget that...I'd been so calm, so...glad. That night, I was finally able to help those I care about...and finally have someone who cared about me in return.

And I wondered if that was what scared me about opening up more to Yoshimori. Was I afraid I'd get rejected because of what I thought? Would I look weak to him?

I shook my head. All these jumping thoughts were beginning to give me a headache. I know the answer is simple- just tell Yoshimori how I feel.

My problem...is that I'm making it way harder than it needs to be. I'm doubting myself so much, I don't know what I should believe anymore.

Yoshimori believes in me, so why can't I believe in myself?

I sighed. Finding the answer to that was gonna be a lot more harder if I couldn't first accept my heart...that..._thing... _in all honesty, I was still getting used to it.

But how? How can I accept something that...that I also fear? How do I do that?

I don't think I can on my own...but with a bit more encouragement from that idiot...I think I can open up more to him...

I felt my heartbeats under my hand, and decided that I wouldn't be afraid. I was gonna be strong when I saw Yoshimori...and finally tell him everything.

I reached for my cell phone and checked the time. It was a quarter to four.

"Time to go see what he wants." I muttered to myself as I grabbed my phone and headed out.


	9. The Real Beginning

**Hello all! I'm so sorry I haven't been uploading lately! Thank you all who've been patient with me this far! Trust me, this story has a plotline! :)**

**Anyhow, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy! And yes, there is finally gonna be a little Yoshi/Gen fluffiness! The other stuff will come in due time! ;) But enough me, please read and review! I own nothing from this awesome anime! :D**

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**Chapter 9**

**The Real Beginning**

**(Yoshi's POV)**

I sat in the park, waiting for Gen to arrive. I bet he was wondering why the hell did I want to meet him here, or how I got the note in his apartment. That's a secret that will be saved for another time.

I just wanted to know what Kaguro did to him the last time that caused him to act like he did yesterday. I mean, the guy, although the last person I'd ever trust on Earth, was only talking to me and giving me a strange...gift. So what was so bad about that?

What the hell was I saying? This is Kaguro I was talking about here! Damn Ayaykashi who deserves to drop dead in the deepest pit of hell!

I sighed in frustration. No wonder Gen was so upset yesterday. But I wanted to hear the answer from him. And I had a few questions of my own I wanted to ask.

Today, one way or another, Gen was gonna tell me what I wanted to know.

Gen showed up, on time to my surprise, and starlted me out of my thoughts as he jumped right in front of me. I grinned half-heartdly, hoping he'd go along with it, but knowing he wouldn't.

"Nice way to make an entrence." I commented. Gen scoffed.

"Whatever. I'm here, so talk." he sasid coldy, arms crossed.

I opened my mouth to ask about Kaguro, but it seemed like Gen knew what I was going to ask, and answered my question for me.

"Before you say anything, I... I wanted to...apologize...for what I did to you yesterday." he said, his voice oddly quiet. He reached out to my cheek, which I forgotton had a bandage on it, and touched it lightly.

"I'm sorry, Yoshimori."

I shook my head, a grin spreading on my face before I could help it. "It's alright. It wasn't anything serious or something like that."

Okay, now that that's out of the way, time to get to buiness. "Gen, I want to know something. I know Kaguro gave you something similar to that egg- shaped thingy he tried to give me. What was it?"

Gen sighed, eyes narrowing before taking a seat on the bench. I followed suit.

"It...It was some strange kind of Ayakashi. That bastard said that it was me...I was it's 'master'."

I arched an eye brow. "It's master?''

"Yep. Apperntly it could sense my emotions, and when it hatched, it would be something only I could have created. I didn't understand what he meant until that night when fought him and his cronies."

Gen looked at his hands clenched together. "It was so strange. It kept...pulsing in my pocket...and it was overall driving me nuts!" he growled. His eyes narrowed in thought. "What? Gen, what?"

"He also said... that it would take the form of me... but I didn't understand what he meant. I guess... he literally meant way I was truly on the inside... a horrible monster..." he muttered softly.

I took his hand in mine. "Gen, when are you going to stop beating yourself up about that? You're not some evil Ayakashi that needs to be killed! I know it, everyone knows it!" I exclaimed.

Gen shook his head. "No, that's what you want to believe. Yoshomori, do you know what happened? To my older sister, Ryo?"

I fished around in my memory. His sister... I remembered him saying something about that once... but he threatened to rip my vocal chords out if I ever asked again. And trust me, when Gen gets _that_ angry with his claw aimed right for my neck, I didn't need to be told twice.

"Was she... attacked?" I asked quietly. I knew how Gen felt about having to open up about his sister- as Tokine explained to me some random night ago- but I didn't fully get why.

"When I was younger, I was often teased and bullied a lot because everyone knew of my strange... power. My sister was in our grade now, and she... she was always protecting me. The kids often threw rocks and sticks at her because she was defending a 'demon', as they put it. She'd go right home and tell my father and my mother what happened."

Gen's hands started to shake, and I held them even tighter. "What happened?"

"My mother... she died a year before my eighth birthday. It was just Ryo, me and my father. Me and Ryo, despite our age difference... were really close. She had to walk me everywhere I went because as I got older, that hatred of those... humans... it would take me over and I would literally go into a blind fury."

He sighed, looking up at the sky. It was still fairly nice out, and there weren't that many people outside today. "Then this one afternoon, I had gotten extremely pissed at one of the kids when he called Ryo a demon defender, or something like that, I don't remember. That was like the last straw for me, and I snapped. I felt my Ayakashi power growing so strong inside of me, and I wanted to rip that kid apart so much, but Ryo stopped me. As a result... she took a beating. Later, I had to apologize, and she took a verbal abuse from the boy's mom."

I wasn't sure what to do or say, so I just kept holding onto Gen's hand with everything I had. No wonder he hated whenever we mentioned his sister... I'd want to break someone, too...

"The lady... she kept insisting that I needed to die, that I was a danger to her, the children, to my family. She said that one day, i'll kill everyone, and the only people to blame for that were her and my parents for not ending me before I was born. Ryo just kept apologizing, but... that stung. I remember clinging on Ryo's hand like there was no tomorrow. I didn't understand what was happening to me, and I never wanted this power!"

"Gen..."

His face... he's crying... oh God, Gen...

"I asked Ryo if the lady was right. That I deserved to be dead, not Mom. And she... she stopped and bent down to my level and told me that as long as she was alive...not one thing would ever come to harm me. I hugged her. I wash petrified that I was really going to harm them... but I didn't know why I would. I didn't understand anything. "

His whole arm was trembling now. "Later on that night, I... I overheard her and my dad talking about today. She...she said something along the lines of sending me somewhere to help me...cope with my abilities. My dad wanted to do the same. I was hurt. I thought she wanted to protect me, but then again... I kinda knew that she hated me just like the others. For having to clean up after all my fights... lying to cover her bruises..."

Gen stopped and took a shaky breath. "I ran. I ran and I cried and I was angry and confused and... scared. I wondered for a time if I really should just end it, just so I wouldn't have to deal with people lying to me."

Gen smiled a little. "Ryo...she realized I overheard everything, and tried to explain to me what happened... and I attacked her. I cut her so deep... there was no way she should have lived. I was horrified because I thought I killed the only other person who could have saved me from myself. It was around that time that your brother and the medical team showed up. He said something to me, and after that...it was just darkness."

I wasn't sure what to tell him, or even what to say. How do you respond to something like that?

No wonder he didn't want to live back at Karasumori...why he was so afraid to allow himself to be loved... to love back...

"Gen... I'm sorry..." I finally got out in a pained whisper. I looked at him.

"I'm sorry." It seemed to be the only thing that was appropriate to say at the current time.

Gen shook his head, this time looking right at me. He looked... relived. Like, really, truly, relived. "For what? You never harmed me, Yoshimori. You care about me, just like Tokine, Chief... everyone."

He smiled again. "Thank you, Yoshimori."

I nodded, my throat too closed up to speak. It was right about this time that I realized I'd interlaced our fingers together. Gen stood up, and his hand slipped away from mine. It felt a lot less... warm... and weird, for some reason.

"Hey, I'm gonna head on back, okay? Keep this between us, alright? I...I'm still not too comfortable letting everyone know about this yet." I nodded again, gathering all my courage.

At this point, I felt it was now or never.

"Gen... wait!"

Gen turned around, hands in his pockets, his usual bored yet adorable expression on his face. His head was tilted just enough so that I could see his eyes glistening a bit in the afternoon sunlight. "Yeah?"

Mustering all the courage I thought I had, I walked right up to him, stood on my tiptoes... and planted my lips on his. I grabbed his wrist so he wouldn't run.

I felt him freeze, but I didn't care. I wanted him to know that he means too much to me to let him feel alone and carry these things on his shoulders.

As I pulled back to catch some air, wondering if I made the right move, Gen's arm looped around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. My heart was racing so much, even more than the first time I kissed him. "G-Gen?"

He looked right into my eyes, and I couldn't pull away. I rested my hands on his chest. "Gen...I...I love you. I always have. I always will." I whispered.

He leaned in a bit close, just enough for me to feel his breath on my face. My heart should've just burst out my chest at that point.

"Shhh... don't talk. Just don't... talk..." he breathed quietly.

And this time, _he _leaned in close and completed the kiss. I let my eyes close as he lips stayed on mine, warm and tender. His arm tightened around my waist, holding me there...like I wanted to leave this.

I allowed him access inside, and felt his wet, warm tongue tracing ever crevice of my mouth. I shuddered. This was really so new to me, but... it felt right...all of this felt right...

Compared to the first night where I randomly kissed him, this... this was real.

I let out a soft moan as he pulled me deeper into the kiss. My fingers dug into his shirt, holding on as much as I could. I didn't want this to stop... I never wanted him to let go of me...

"G..Ge...Gen..." I managed to whisper again after the need for air became too great, "... I love you."

Gen smiled, tracing his thumb across my cheek. "I love you too, Yoshimori Sumimura. I'm no longer afraid to say it. And I'm no longer afraid... to give you my heart." he whispered back.

I smiled. He understands now... he knows that he's never alone...

"Come on. You can stay at my place tonight." Gen said softly as he released my waist and grabbed my hand, fingers interlacing with my own. I nodded.

_'Gen... after all these years of pain... of feeling alone and confused and hurt... you deserve this... you deserve to be happy. I hope you always stay like this...', _I thought to myself as we walked back to Gen's apartment.

"By the way, I know you told Masamori about us, Gen." I poked lightly, laughing as his face turned a shade of red.

"Shut up..." he mumbled. I laughed even more.

Things are gonna be strange, and hard too, since that damn bastard Kaguro is still alive. I know that we're both going to put under the most we've ever been through thus far. But...

...it's okay. Gen is here. He's alive. We're together. And we have our friends, the Orgnazation... my older brother...

I looked up as the sky began to shift into evening colors. Yeah, my life is definitely going to get more interesting from here. But I'm ready for it.

I'm truly ready to begin.

* * *

**Okayyyy, doneeee! :) I think it was a bit tricky and a bit rushed, but I hope I did okay. I'll allow my readers to tell me how I did! **

**Thank you for reading! I'll try to have the next chapter up at some point, no idea when. Until then, see ya! :)**


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